STUDIES IN ORGASM: " IF YOUR FETISH IS NOT HIGHLY EMBARASSING, IT IS NOT YOUR FETISH!

    
         I'm going to try to keep this article short, because it is not a Case Study. Our psychologist is indisposed. And our attending physician looks at me with the old  fish eye. Is it something I've done? Is it something I've said?  Does everybody hate me?
          Who cares? If you're not careful a few negative thoughts can transform into a real BLACK MAMBO SNAKE OF A NEGATIVE SCRIPT. Negative scripts usually derive from parental voices,but this is not always the case. Sometimes it's too much exposure to an evil priest. Or it can be a thieving predatory Uncle. Or maybe your grandmother fixes you with a cold, condemning stare
and says something understanding to you, like: "They should bring back the lash!"

            And this is a perfect segue into the case of a Male Masocist, who we'll call Charles. We'll maintain our policy of anonymity, because a person can tell an intimate story after a few drinks and be horrified that he said a word in the morning. And if that person feels true dread about what he might have said, he doesn't want to see his story appear in some kind of headline the next day!
             
             CASE 3 - CHARLES
              _________________


             This case is just as Charles related it. (I might have added an adjective here or there).




           " I can only imagine the horrors she visited upon me when I was a naked babe of six months, lolling and gurgling in my bassinette, fondling my infantile erection and watching the seagulls
fly past the windows to the south."
            "I seem to remember a few of those early times quite clearly. I remember being sexually stimulated before I reached one year of age. Many people will say, 'Oh that's bullshit!' But I can tell you, the existence of infantile arousal is a fact that is beyond dispute. I remember quite a few very intense moments while I was still standing in my crib with the walls up, so I wouldn't chase some hot number down the stairs on my hands and knees.There were those two Scandanavian
maids.. but they are another story."
             "There are a few other suspects. I had visitors when I was in naked in the mini-bath. There was my grandmother, "Nana" who had a snake-eyed cold streak sometimes when she stared down at me. Her primary interests were: Flogging, Punishment, and the Lash!  So I was not imagining her evil eye. I am almost certain that my early arousals did not have anything to do with this reptilian mind from the Victorian era. She was not a woman who believed in titillation. You can trust me in this."
             "Then there was my mother, who was a hot number; and in the fifties, stylish women wore tight skirts that hugged the hips and descended to constrain the knees - almost as if they were in
bondage.Thoughts of bondage prey upon my mind, even to this day.  I remember watching her hips sway as she sauntered teasingly out of my bedroom. I was standing there, a prisoner in my crib. I probably was screaming and begging her to stay. I remember the feeling of begging which arouses me even now."
               "I discovered this recently, to my  shock and surprise. Helplessly begging for a woman's favours, even grovelling while I beg: this is a real turn-on for me."

                 (I know this is not the subject of this BLOG. But  a masocistic fetish is very similar in men and women)


               " I remember there was a party going on downstairs. I was allowed to join the cocktail party before going to bed. I crawled under my mother's skirt and it was some kind of crinoline affair. I stood under her dress for about twenty minutes while my mother talked to other drinkers. I remember staring up at her crotch and buttocks all tightly encased in a taut girdle. I stood there looking up for what seemed like twenty minutes. It was probably closer to five minutes - but no less than that! A young fella can absorb a whole lot of reality in that length of time!"
               "I wanted to stay at the party for obvious reasons. I remember feeling heat in my groin.
Then she carried me upstairs and said goodnight to me and I watched her teasingly walk away,
as deliberate in her taunting as any hooker I followed down Mainstreet in later years. Exactly the same, really. And then she killed the lights and slowly and with exacting firmness shut the door. There was a sadistic streak in the way she shut the door."
                "I was left to my own devices and it took me a long time to catch my breath and lose my boner. All my life I've been trying to analyse why I've been a masocist aroused by pain and and a
humiliating sense of my own helplessness. For the longest time I had no idea what happened to me! Now I think I have a clue. But discovery has taken 30 years."
               "And to be honest, as I grew to maturity I found these truths about myself highly embarassing. What man wants to be intensely hot and tumescent over feeling ineffectual, helpless and powerless? It has been very hard on my self esteem."
                "After 2,000 hours of psychotherapy, I see that embarrassment  can be part of the fun.
But it's only when I'm in the control of a dominant woman with a sadistic streak that I can have any fun at all."
                

                 After reviewing  Charles' story, let me enumerate one  definite principle of sexology:

                 PRINCIPLE 7: IF YOUR FETISH IS NOT HIGHLY EMBARRASSING AND SHAMEFUL TO YOU, IT IS NOT YOUR REAL FETISH!


               Charles: "Yes, begging mother not to leave. I wanted her to stay, for all the wrong reasons. And I can clearly see her sauntering away, slowly, teasingly swinging her hips, while I was panting and begging her to stay, screaming and pleading. I remember her shutting off my bedroom lights, walking towards the light in the hall. and without turning around, I remember she deliberately and very firmly shut my bedroom door. I have reenacted that denial many times throughout the years in many demeaning ways."

JOHN ROCK AND THE ANGELS --- WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT: A STUDY IN WOMEN'S LOVE

                    O.K. It's time for me to be even more honest, which I hope you will not hold against me!
(Isn't this a country song: "If I Said you have a Beautiful Body, would you hold it against me?)
There are five people who participate in this blog, on the writing and experimetial end - no, I must say, "Six." For there are the courageous women who form this group.
                      There is nothing, nowhere, and no place: where any human being from six to one hundred and sixteen is any more vulnerable than in his/her sex. Now that's just a fact, and you can trust me in this: I used to be a singer-songwriter, and I led my own band and played a terrific rhythm guitar. And in all honesty, women used to line up by the stage to have sex with me.(Though truly for the first six months, I had NO IDEA what these gorgeous,intelligent patient and
pneumatic, clear-eyed, strong and hungry female human animals were doing in a line.)
                        Let's say there were eight to fifteen women before the stage in one very orderly
line that formed a near perfect right-angel with the line of stage monitors ( a line that defines the front of the stage.) 90 degrees! And these were quiet cats. They didn't talk to each other. They had no need to talk to each other. All these fine women (with great musical taste and fulsome limbs)
they were of one Mind. And let's call it the Mind of Diana the Huntress.
                          I'd walk by behind the amplifiers and when I glanced into the crowd, what I was
seeing was a phenomenon so strange that at first it did not compute in my brain. I remember
asking Charlie, our bass player, who was still standing on stage with his guitar, patiently
watching the sea of people get more and more roused to demand an encore: I asked him, "What
in God's Name are all those beautiful creature doing?"
                          He said, "They're waiting for you." And he smiled. Charlie is a little guy with one big sardonic smile.
                           "You're out of your mind!" I replied and he could see I meant it so he started to laugh. Now Charlie, was an experienced musician and he'd been to a lot of shows and many recording sessions. So I tended to trust him. But not in this case. This was too weird even for me to digest.
                            When I was 20-30-40 years old I was a good looking man. People told me this, but I never really believed them. And by the time I was mature enough to see a semi-semblance of
reality, I was no longer particularly good looking. In fact, I'd avoid mirrors until noon, because I definitely did not want to see my big bloodshot eyes staring intently back at me first thing in the A.M. The experience was frightening because I could see my own mortality clear as a coconut in a
dancing palm tree. And no one wants to see this before their first stiffener (in my case 190 proof full strength Wray and Nephew white rum fed with an eye-dropper into strong Blue Mountain coffee).
                               What's the point? The point is that any one of these women would have ignored me in a half-empty restaurant. These were Alpha females and they really looked the part. I'm an Alpha male, but I do all kinds of things to disguise this fact. And usually my disguise as a half-assed
sheepish comedian works.
                                 Any man with half a brain, and who has studied Greek mythology and the Grimm fairy tales KNOWS that fifteen women of the tribe of Diana the Huntress standing together
 with silent intent is a situation more dangerous than an 8.0 earthquake. Any one of these gals could absolutely devastate your life. And ten of them together might decide to divvy up your body parts for souvenirs. 
                                 With a bottle of whiskey in me I'd shake all their hands, kiss their cheeks, respectfully look in  each woman's eyes and solemnly greet her, then lead four or five of them
upstairs. But almost always very little happened because I've been gradually turning into
more and more of a monk. We'd get down to bras and panties and underwear and do a lot of fondling. But we had very little out and out sex,
                                  I'd order up five bottles of red wine and some club house sandwhich and we'd eat and talk and many times we'd all pass out in the same bed and I'd wake up at five in the
morning with all these lovely women coiled around me. And I'd gaze a long time at each of them
with utter attention. And I loved every one of them in my heart-mind and I stroked their hair, and I asked the Lord of the Meeting Rivers, God of Poetry and Song and the One whose presence
rides the clouds and I asked a blessing for all of us. And that's what we received.
                                   These women were not coming upstairs with me just because they wanted
sexual love; they wanted  an embrace  and a communion of the eyes, and a glimpse of that
wondrous lover they'd always seen just a little bit out of reach, the magic man who was always disappearing around corners. This is the love they heard in my songs, and this is why I suppose they followed me upstairs. 
                                    And I loved them for the constancy of their dream. And when I left them
still safe and asleep, I was usually weeping as I looked back one last time and saw them
glowing in the light of early dawn, imbued with a beauty too strong for me to bear.









































 

STUDIES IN THE FEMALE ORGASM - CASE TWO: MADELAINE: PRINCIPLES AND METHODS , RAISING THE CLEANSING HEAT OF PASSION

NOTICE - DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE UNDER 18.          WARNING: DISTURBING MATERIALS OF A SEXUAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL NATURE.

Principle(5) Public humiliation, (or perceived public humiliation) is often a transporting factor. 
              Humiliation is also the arousing fetish in itself, ie: the source of arousal. 
              Usually  the need is to be be punished for the shame of experiencing sex , (a                        "disgusting urge" that the woman can only allow herself to feel because she's being punished).
Spanking works well in this context. The heat felt in the buttocks during a good paddling
is the transporting factor that gives the woman permission to feel the shameful urge.
              Male masocism works much the same way as female masocism. The need to utterly
give over one's power is fulfilled. Also, spanking is a sexual fetish all by itself.
               In the same way, many and maybe even most women have secret fantasies of being
raped and utterly overpowered and taken by a ravaging man. There's a whole lot of guilt women
feel over rape fantasies. And a rape fantasy is not a secret a woman usually shares with her
mate. Of course, there are delightful exceptions.
               More spanking is often required.


          (6) DISTRACTION is also a very useful tool in allowing sexual arousal to build

               For example, Madelaine can only experience sexual desire, excitement and arousal,
               when she pretends none of it is happening. She must distract herself by  reading                     a  magazine  and keeping her mind busy on another subject entirely, while she is  pleasured               orally and  with the use of a vibrator.

               Her husband felt that such a menial task was beneath him. And he was part of the problem. He insisted that she should be able to orgasm just from his penetrating her. But
the fact of the matter is,  a woman who suffers from intense anxiety because of some interdiction
against sex (whether it be familial or religious or the result of some fearful abuse as a child), such a woman will not experience orgasm as a result of penetration alone, regardless of the size of the
organ penetrating her.
                 Orgasm will not occur without the aid of both psychological and physical tools.
In Madelaine's case it was necessary to place the husband in another room with the door shut,
while an assistant pleasured his wife.
                  You must understand, I had no idea what measures were required to move this
lovely woman into a primal experience. The idea of the magazine came later, when I noticed
her gritting her teeth and shaking when anyone approached her, especially her husband.
 
                     (6) The use of distraction is sometimes essential.

                  At first I tried an erotic book, but that didn't work at all. Finally we settled on
an architectural digest, which she read with desperate concentration. I inserted a thin
unobtrusive vibrator between her labia and let the tip of the vibrator "accidentally'
graze her clitoris from time to time. Then I gently and quietly inserted the vibrator into
her, and had an assistant press his tongue against her clitoris with no movement at all.
                   After five minutes he started to lick her gently. And I turned the vibrations
up ever so slowly.
                    All this time she did not acknowledge the fact that there was a   man between her thighs, nor did she look at me. I was sitting pretty much out of her view, but that didn't matter.
                    By the third session she had started to relax somewhat, and look forward to
the session.
                     The one light in the room was focused on the magazine. The bed was in relative darkness. When arousal started to break through to her, she started crying out with this
hot intense voice filled with aniety. She was certainly shocked and couldn't really believe that
this was happening to her; and she cried out more and more, and louder and louder and started
gasping.
                      Talk about a transporting experience! I was having more and more trouble maintaining my professional distance. The pressure built up more and more, and I made sure nothing changed; I knew the dam was going to burst. This woman had never once experiendced
orgasm in her entire life, and so when the moment finally came after incredible resistance on
her part, she shouted and clutched and throbbed and shouted at the top of her lungs.
                      Previously she had been a quiet, polite person, and very articulate, an English teacher.
The rhythmic pulsing shouts and howls from the deepest part of her lasted an incredibly long
time. She woke up a couple who were sound asleep on the third floor of this old brick and stone house, and we were in the basement.
                     She had passed through the barrier and had taken her first steps on the road back
to health.
                      Interestingly, she was able to give up her three pack a day smoking habit within the year.
                      I couldn't let her husband go near her for ten days. But having heard the sounds of her
orgasm from the next room, he was suddenly more than willing to co-operate in any way whatsoever. In fact, our psychologist was willing to give him lessons in performing oral sex
all that week.
                      When he finally was able to visit his wife once more, he gave her two dozen roses,
and had learned something. A lot of coaching was still required to prevent the same tension
from arising between them again, and ruining everything. The husband had an unfortunate habit of acting in a parental fashion. This reminded Madelaine of her father. And Madelaine's father had been a monster, who had terrified her as a child.
                       Madelaine had recurring dreams of the shadow of her father entering her bedroom in the middle of the night. And the shadow was holding a knife - an obvious phallic symbol. And maybe it wasn't just a symbol of a phallus, maybe it really was a hard-on in his hand. After dreams like that as a little girl, it was difficult for her to relax around sex as a grown woman.
                       And the father had the nerve to be  moralistic about her sex, after performing in such a way himself. My God, the hypocrisy!
                       Guilt and terrifying dreams must be expunged. The tubes must be all blown out clean.
And your Roving Reporter has various means of blasting the psyche clean. Passion is a psychic
cleanser. And I've  found that bending a woman bare-assed over a pile of pillows, so that her bum is raised as an obvious and vulnerable target: this is a highly erotic thing to do. It's erotic to her because she's given over her power, and she's utterly under your command .It's best to force her to assume this position gradually.
                        Then, holding her down with a hand on the small of her back, I've always found that a slow and deliberate whipping of her bare buttocks with a riding crop is an excellent way to
ignite passion.


                                                                                            CASE TWO - Respectfully submitted.
 

THE BELLS ARE RINGING IN THE HILLS; MELISSA IS SCREAMING IN THE GARAGE! STUDIES IN THE FEMALE ORGASM

        I had to stop writing about religious matters because I was starting to see cross-eyed and I was getting threats from the religious community. Subtle comments like: "YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!"which got me laughing.        Or, DO YOU KNOW WHAT HELL IS LIKE? I e-mailed back, "I can arrange tours. Starting  at 2:45P.M today. Bring women and liquor!"

         Then I got into this more important subject, and I ran into Walker Ballantine's  famous article: "THERE ARE TWO REASONS I GET ON MY KNEES!" And I knew I was onto the scent. This story has already taken me into some strange and disreputable places. And Ballantine's mind is stranger and more disreputable than most washrooms in most train stations.


         Take Melissa, for example. I have her tied over an armchair in the garage, an armchair I
have flipped over onto the cement upside down.  So I could tie her naked limbs spread eagle to the legs of the chair. I can hear her screaming, howling really, into the night. I should  shut the garage door. 
          It's 4:30 A.M. and the neighbours need to sleep.
          My closest neighbour is my attending physician, but he'd rather not attend.


           Oh, that was a good one! She's really putting her back into it No one can scream like that
unless they really mean it! The dogs around the lake are starting to bark...If the people in her legal office could see her now!
            To put your minds at rest, your Roving Reporter comports himself with the utmost
integrity at all times. I obtained a 13 page "Medical and Legal Release" and had her sign it in triplicate. The RELEASE is iron-clad. I know because I drafted it myself.
            Also I work with a male psychiatrist  and a female Masters in psychology. Sometimes I have to employ a couple of hookers as well.


             A few principles of sexology, penned by yours truly.
              Principle 1: There is nothing 'nice' about orgasm.( Especially in Melissa's case because she has not had an orgasm in 35 years. And frankly that's just damn unhealthy - for her and for everybody else. She's a strong woman physically and mentally. And around the office she's turning into a real prick. She came to me for help and I told her I'd take the job, but it wasn't going to be pleasant. And it was going to cost her!
              
             Principle 2: Tools and fuel are necessary.

( NOTICE- PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS ARTICLE IF YOU ARE UNDER 18!   I don't need more legal hassles. WARNING: THIS CASE STUDY INCLUDES SADOMASOCISTIC ELEMENTS. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY SUCH SUBJECTS, READ NO FURTHER)
               
               Principle 3:  Extreme Measures May Have to Be Taken.
                Case History:(a) The subject attended a catholic girls school for 13 years.
                                        (b) Her father is  psychotic. The very thought that his daughter is having sex with anyone throws him into a destructive rage. Last week he managed to gain entrance into her underground parking garage and he attacked her BMW with a fire axe.
                                      (c) Her mother's favourite expression when talking to her was: "A person of your quality need never cry." The psychological damage that this cruel advice has caused Melissa is incalculable.


                Once she was tied up and naked with her buttocks up near the ceiling, I administered a sedative orally (which, believe me, she was  going to need).
                 Melissa doesn't really like me, and her disdain is useful in this case.


                  Principle 4:Fear and shock are necessary psychological tools. 

                  At the moment she is penetrated anally by a radio-controlled device designed especially for that purpose.  I can adjust the speeds from up here in the house.
                   When she wakes up from the sedative in several hours, I have a surprise planned
that will  scare the hell out of her. Then all her resistance will be gone. She will be utterly compliant
and I can really go to work on her.
                     She will endure orgasm soon after dawn. After 35 years, it will not be a quiet
procedure.
                      She will not forget the moment. It will be an experience she will treasure for the rest of her life. How she will feel about me afterwards remains to be seen.


                       But I am a professional. I am used to the mixed feelings of the women I cure. Sometimes their hatred persists.


                                                                                      PLEASE NOTE: THE ROVING REPORTER  IS NOT A DOCTOR. AND DESPITE THE UNDOUBTED SUCCESS OF HIS METHODS, VERY FEW MEMBERS OF THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY APPROVE OF HIS PRINCIPLES.
            

Judgment Day? Karma?

      
         The Zealots were expecting the Messiah to be a temporal king who would liberate the land from Roman rule.
          The Christian Messiah, Christ or anointed one, it turned out, is not concerned with a regime of one specific time or place, but rather a timeless realm, beyond history: a realm that exists and will exist only in the  'eternal present'. It's rather like the "dream time" which Joseph Campbell discusses, an archetypal time, which has nothing to do with history.
             Some Jewish friends tell me that they do not think the Messiah has come yet.
              In the year 1000 A.D. flagellants walked through medieval towns in Europe naked or in tattered clothes, whipping themselves or dragging heavy crosses. They figured it was 
Judgment Day then, ie: "The day is at hand; the end is near!"
                Only it wasn't, and it isn't.
                  Judgment Day is impossible to compute, and I think we all know that. The earth has
another 4 billion years of life in it, if all goes according to a plan that is so immense as to be
beyond our calculations as to time and place.
                Of course, if we take the notion/fact of karma seriously, every day is Judgment Day,
so we don't have to worry about dates.  As it is said, if we deserve it, we are going to get it in the end.


                  The real question is, how do we get to that golden, eternal, timeless place of definitions.


             

QUANTUM MYSTICS

      
         "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." Hunter S. Thompson
        

           Just as we have had to set aside the laws of Newtonian physics when we focus on sub-atomic
particles and enter in to a much more unpredictable, even weird world, so does our whole
approach to sacred reality have to change.
            In centuries past, priests were speaking to an uneducated public. In fact, the public was not allowed to educate itself. Education was illegal and besides all the books were written in Latin
not the spoken language of the public. So the priests were allowed to get away with teaching
fairy tales, and for quite a long time no one could prove them wrong.


            Well, times have changed!
             I see no division between science and religion!
              There is no need for such a split.  If your local mystic (shaman) does not apprehend
reality completely, it's time to get another mystic!
                The first law of the new universe is that subject and object no longer exist. So also,
all the old dualistic notions have to be thrown away. But have we really thought out or
discovered the implications of non duality?
                  How about the division between man and God? That no longer exists either.
So maybe when people say, "I am God" after a long night, maybe we should takes them
more seriously.
                    How about the division between flesh and spirit?  This division must be thrown out also! This will screw up the old church's moralistic methods.


                 In the quantum world of endless possibilities and the sea of "empty" space, which is actually seething with unimaginable massive energy, what happens is not determined by anything that is part of the physical universe.
                 What's really mysterious is sub-atomic processes change when observed. In fact 
the process changes according to how it is observed! This suggests something like intelligence
in the formative space of emptiness.


                  O.K. Anyone who has studied the mystics of the various religions will know that
intelligence in the midst of emptiness is an ancient notion of holy men everywhere.
                   What's happened is that science has caught up to the mystics.


                    People who go into deep meditation often use the phrase that:"It's like a mirror."
The one meditating seems to be in the midst of intelligence, even an intelligence that reflects back
to the mind of the meditator.
                     What's happening is you are in the midst of the Mind of the universe.
                      Bringing it back to the Christian world (which is more stunted than most religions),
this happens: the one lost in deep concentration facing a saying such as "In the beginning is the Word" has an earth-shattering experience. At least, it is earth-shaking to him.
                        If you   focus on an expression which cannot be grasped or understood with the rational mind, say "Before Abraham was, I am", and if your concentration is absolute you
may undergo an implosion. The implosion is like an eggshell collapsing inwards revealing the life within. Or a T.V. set tossed off a hotel balcony, it also implodes. When this happens to you inwardly, you might hear a loud noise. Then the whole world changes for you, even your identity.
                          
                            Intellectual problems will no longer exist for you. Paradoxes will make you laugh! 

THE KINGDOM IS LAID OUT UPON THE FIELDS, AND MEN SEE IT NOT.

        Well. today's my birthday and I feel great! So I'm probably going to talk too much.  But I've got a few points rattling around in my brain, and this is bugging me. I like my brain to be absolutely
empty of all thoughts, but humming with a warm/hot energy of focus. Like when you play a sport
and you're panting hard, staring down field. You don't have a thought in your head! You have total focus on the ball.
         These few points:
          I went to church the other day (Easter Sunday).  I normally avoid churches because the preacher/teacher/minister/priest always speaks of the Christ in the past tense. And his special resurrection is in the past, too.
            Well, I've been getting a few unpleasant threats, some even in Latin, and little notes telling me I'm going to hell. 
              Here's why:  Gospel of Philip: "If you are not resurrected in this life, you will not be resurrected in the next."
                Resurrection/Realization occurs here and now. And this is the aim.  This is the golden
fleece. This is Ithaca - Home.
                  The Christ is not so special. The Christ is the "anointed one". The one who speaks for God at any given moment. God is speaking now. Christ is the ultimate Identity of every man or woman on this planet.  (Although Christ is sometimes called Buddha, or Krisna, Mohammed or
Allah).  Earthly religions are really not that different: asks the mystics of each religion how different  they are, and whether these  differences are worth fighting over!
              The mystics are the ones who know - they are not agnostics; they are not intermediaries
between you and your Source. They are the ones who have gone into the wilderness, themselves,
and have starved themselves or done any number of things in order that after days pass, and days and days and days - they have a glimpse of the meaning of things.
               If you want to ask about the Truth which is timeless and which is the very Mind of God,
ask a mystic. Do not ask someone who takes a wage in order to support the established view!
                Do you see now why I get all these threatening notes? If I were uncertain, well, I
guess I would be worried about hell and these Latin curses. But I am certain. I am a mystic
and I know what I know. I have (literally) sat on the cliff top and watched the winds pass
through me. 
                  I have no worries at all!
                 
                   Though I am trying not to get verbose.


                      Hail to you, in the name of the Most High, Rastaferai, Lord of the Meeting Rivers, Eternal Mind which is the Eye of the world,  Jahweh who is the fertility of all the fields, greetings and love!
                       Your time has come.
               

LENNY'S LIGHTS or IN THE GALAXY OF TEARS I CAN HEAR LENNY LAUGHING

I am very tired of my own voice.

For obvious reasons.

Sitting on the street where Lenny was... Just breathing the free... air.

This is not a highway, but we'll call it that. Actually it's a street in Lionel Town, Jamaica.

To my right is a bright green field with seven palm trees in it. And I can just see the tail of one

cow in the bush. (We'll assume it's not a bull). The tail is switching flies.

No more on that.

I digress. At least I hope I am digressing.

Lenny was a Rastaman. He was also a poet. The two cultures sometimes

conflict.

Lenny also liked the odd drink of Wray and Nephew full strength overproof

rum. With Lenny it was always an ODD drink..

This not a commercial, but "full strength" in Jamaica is a euphemism for pure

at least 200 proof mind-clearing white rum. In a glass you can almost see the

fumes arising and disappearing into the air above. If you light this rum, of course it burns.

It burns for a long time in a shot glass. It is burning now.

This is one of Lenny's lights.

The stars are so bright they seem to be saying something especially to me.

I know many doctors in the North who would call this a psychotic thought.

I know one or two doctors who would say thoughts like this

are the very definition of sanity.

Hunter S. Thompson uses the term, "the place of definitions." If

he were here, he would use it now.

I don't entirely understand the proof system regarding rum like this.

That's O.K., courts in North America don't entirely understand the proof system

either. In a former life, I was a lawyer.

When I do not understand something, I let Walker Ballantine join me.

There's nothing that Walker Ballantine doesn't understand. Because Walker Ballantine

doesn't try to understand anything.

"It's a ridiculous pursuit," he says.

As a matter of fact, when I think about it (which I try not to) Walker Ballantine's

a lot like Lenny.

The poet, Charles Bukowski, used to say, "Don't try."

In fact, "DON'T TRY" is written on his tombstone.

Another famous poet used to say, "The smallest leaf of grass proves

there is no such thing as death."

These guys love Lenny, but someone is laughing. I pray to the Lord of

the Meeting Rivers, that that laughter is not mine.

I hear a voice say, "Stop burning the rum. We don't need lights

that badly!"

Did I say that?

No, that's not what I said. * (* see Walter de la Mare's poem on the subject)

The proof system no longer matters in the North** as much as it used to.

Because the North, if you look at the matter closely, no longer has civil rights. Ballantine

has a legal mind, frightening in it's clarity.

So does Lenny, but Lenny never spoke about such things. He said they

didn't matter.

This BLOG used to be about the fact that the Christian world needs a system

of initiation, a methodical step by step path with elders along the way aiding the traveller,

giving him directions, pointing a finger along the Way.... during the always painful process

of Realization.

Not any more.

Now this blog's about Lenny.

(The tail's still twitching in the weeds.)

BASIC STEPS TO DIVINE REALITY

A Few Premises:

(1) The Mind is not only in the brain. Stepping off the curb, you will sense

a car coming with your body as well as your head.

(2) Emotions are carried throughout the body-mind by chemical messengers.

Chemistry forms and carries our emotions.

(3) We think of chemistry as belonging to the external world of matter;

but clearly the world of matter (mass & energy) Is what we are.

(4) As above so below. Quantum processes have been seen to behave differently

when observed. It looks very much as if there is a consciousness in

sub-atomic processes.

(5) If there is a consciousness at the level of quantum physics, why do we assume there is no consciousness at the galactic level?

NOWHERE TO GO BUT WHERE YOU ARE

In the name of the most high, the one who is the Eye of the world,

greetings!

To clarify a few things about God:

(1) Of course, there is no Santa Claus in the sky!

No, things are more mysterious than that. There are many paths

to the pure land. I prefer to choose a pathway of mystery and wonder

in a world where anything may happen. This is how I see the world

and wondrous things have happened to me.

(2) Consider the possibility of an Intelligence presently in the process

of creating all things, One who creates the spirals of DNA, One who

stares back at you when you are observing the particles and waves of

quantum physics, and the particles change when you observe them,

One who is the singing of the universe, a Mind that dances from

within.

"The eye through which you see God is the eye through which God

sees you." Meister Eckhart

The world is not "The Creation" or "the Created" past tense.

The universe is right now, this very instant, creating itself with

divine intelligence in a never-ending process. One who meditates deeply

can partake of the Mind of God.

(3) Those of us who go on a Vision Quest invariably report a

spirit guide, who aids them in their quest when they are destitute,

when they are at that last extreme and cannot think any more

because thinking is not enough; when the old grey rat enters

the dead end alley from which there is no escape: a higher faculty

may come to your aid at such times when you are finally able to

listen: a higher faculty of Mind which is within you and outside of

you.

It is said a person who had just had a Realization experience once

shouted: "Between heaven and earth, I alone exist!"

This sounds like the height of egotism. In fact, it is utter

egolessness.

The Fundamental Fact is the Realization experience. It is not preached

in modern day Christianity, but it was taught 2,000 years ago by

the early followers of Christ.

Christ, the anointed one, is a name for the fundamental Mind that

is the core of this universe, the eye of spiral galaxies, the golden mean.

When a seeker has passed through the "Chapel of the Black Hand", the

dark night of the soul, he is ripe for sudden illumination! Lightning

might strike; the implosion may occur.

I do not preach at you. I do not ask you to believe. I merely wish to

encourage you who are searching for the meaning of life. A path

exists but it has been obscured.

I wish to re-open the path for modern day Christians. I don't want

what happened to me to happen to you. I had the Liberation Experience

when I was twenty-three and I had no idea what had happened.

There was no support system in place to aid those who travelled

towards the goal. Finally, through the study of Hindu texts and

with the help of our Zen brothers and sisters, I discovered what

the hell had happened to me.

I had Realized. I had the fundamental knowing experience. There

is really only one such Experience, though it comes in many shapes

and sizes, through many paths. I had Realized Mind. Throughout

the entire universe, one eternal Mind.

I had Realized Christ as Mind. And this is the meaning of eternal

life and not tasting death: this Realization Experience. In the

east it is called Enlightenment, kensho, satori.

In the east, there is a system that supports the quest to see

this Fundamental Fact. We ought to build such a system in the West.

"Woe to the Pharisees, for they hold the keys to the kingdom, and they

do not enter, neither do they allow anyone else to enter."

Gospel of Thomas.

What you seek is within you and waiting to embrace you, and is the

fundamental fact of your existence. It is what you are. And there's nowhere

to go but where you are.

I KNOW GOD EXISTS BECAUSE I HAVE SPOKEN TO HIM

Lately I've been getting into discussions about the existence of God. Each time

I find the discussions descend into rational arguments. And both people

in the discussion leave the talk dissatisfied, intellectually pleased,

but emotionally and spiritually destitute.

I have been letting myself and other people down. The truth is, after

various experiences in your life, you either know or you don't know about

God, Jahweh, Revelation, the One who rides the clouds, Lord of the meeting rivers,

Lord of Israel, Lord of Albion, Gate of Enlightenment, Allah the merciful,

the Mirror of deep meditation, the One who opens the clouds when I pray,

the One Who Is Creating us, Vishnu, Shiva, the One who destroys all maya,

Krisna, Christ, the One who is here with us now.Lord of all the heavens,

You who are the Light Eternal, O Buddha, you who have shown

the path to Satori: I AM THAT I AM.

I AM is the best name for God, whose holy Name cannot fully be said,

anyway: Cosmic Consciousness. JAH! Rastaferai!

I left the city and took "the narrow path to the deep north". In the north

I built a cabin out of oak logs on top of a 150 foot cliff. In that cabin

I worked on clarifying the meaning of some of the texts found at

Nag Hammadi, Egypt, 1945.

Most times when I have difficulty with a passage, the sunlight would pour through. On a cloudy day, the skies would open and the passage would write itself.

Once I was working by a campfire in the bush at night, and I was totally stifled.

A passage in the Gospel of Philip had me stumped. I was staring into the campfire

and couldn't do a thing. After a few moments the Northern Lights descended

and the woods lit up all around me, and the passage basically finished itself.

No further thought went into the matter. The pen just wrote.

Later I was wondering whether I had imagined the whole thing. But I had

a visitor in the cabin, and she came running out and said, "The cabin just got

really bright."

This sort of thing was not a rare occurance, but happened frequently.

Many different kinds of experience struck me as not merely odd, but

certainly a sign of Divine Intelligence within all things.

Remember, the native people up here in northern Canada

have their "Trickster" god, and they don't want to mess with him.

Because what's funny to the Trickster might seem an utter disaster

to we humans with our so-called "ordinary" lives.

Trust me, or take my word for it, at least: a lot of strange things

happen up here in the bush. And many of them cannot be explained

by anything like rational science.

I have a lot more experiences to mention, but I won't

bring them up all at once.

This blog is way too long already.

But let's not forget the female names of God! For the One God has created

many other gods within Him for many purposes. Aphrodite is another

name of God, the mother of great mercy who resides

mysteriously throughout the world. She also has many names, and Her

Mercy is great. People in all countries pray to Her in many different

guises.

She may come to you in various dreams, say of the corn harvest,

and a golden straw house in the midst of the fields, and within that

house She blesses you with great comfort. She is warm and compassionate

as your mother; she is all-embracing and loving and sweet as your lover:

she is all things to all men, and without Her none of us would ever exist,

or want to.

God is Great! All the gods and goddesses that have existed throughout

the entire history of our many peoples, are resolved within Him. Do you think

the Mind of God is deceived by names? No! It is we in our smaller egos and identities who are confused and motivated by names.

We built the Tower of Babel; God did not build the Tower of Babel.

It is we through our own psyche that we confuse ourselves continually.

Through Realization. or Revelation, or Satori, Enlightenment,

the Knowing of the early Christian Gnostics, through this Experience

which is fundamentally the same in all cultures, "identity" becomes

"Identity" and the seeker becomes One with God. Through an annihilation

of the ego, an implosion occurs which destroys the shell of the egg,

and the mystic achieves spiritual maturity. This is by no means

an easy process.

What we have forgotten, because we have been lead astray, is this:

it is not the name that is important. All our holy men have been murdered;

our heros have been slaughtered, because of names. These holy ones

would be horrified and enraged if they knew their names

are being used for such hellish purposes!

The very names of our holy men have been used as a justification

for slaughter! Also our names for God. In the name of Christ,

in the name of Allah, in the name of Krisna, we kill each others' children.

Then distracted, we allow those who have lied to us for thousands of years,

those who are aligned with Power and Greed, we allow them to fool us again -

we allow them to suck the blood of the sufferers!

Certain gods do not exist on their own but can be invoked by calling

up hatreds among the human masses, by watching with twisted pleasure

the deaths of other people. Satan can be called up. And it seems

we have done so.

Satan (It) is the Lord of miscommunication and confusion;

It ranges freely over the earth and gets us fighting over holy names

It is the Lord of the Flies, the Lord of the Air. It mixes up the minds

of our peoples so we are not clear what to do. It is Moloch

who wants us to devour our children in the cause of personal greed.

It can be invoked through a mass consciousness of hatred,

and evil notions of the superiority or inferiority of various races.

There is no race inferior or superior to any other race on this planet.

We are all the chosen people of God.

The Lord of light cannot be invoked. His grace is like the wind;

it goes where it wishes. When Grace fills you,

the room seems to lighten up a bit. Other people notice it, too,

that the room has brightened. Suddenly your are filled with

love and confidence. We can all be mystics.

Satan does not belong to one country alone. In fact, Satan belongs

to no country and shows loyalty to no one. Evil is the negation

of what is, the greed that is filling the mechanized groin of the world.

Mass confusion is sown deliberately. Out of this confusion

over names, war comes. And out of war comes massive profits

from the sale of arms.

It is known that some entities encourage hatred

on both sides of an issue. A war is stirred up and started like a fire,

inflammatory remarks fanned on both sides. Then these same entities

sell arms to both sides of the conflict, reaping massive profits out of the bodies

of the peoples involved. If this is not Satanism, I don't know what is.

A righteous anger arises within me when I write of these things.

but what am I to do with this anger, kill someone else? I have killed already

and it was not what I wanted to do.

The answer is to take the energy of this anger and use it as fuel

for meditation. Take the fuel of this rage and look within to the

new country of the soul, the pure land where men cease from grasping.

Look within and see until the mirror appears,

the mirror that is no mirror, but is the eye through which

you see God. And God sees you also through the same mirror,

and you know and you are known. The two become one,

the division between you and God disappears.

It becomes apparent to you, the land of the Buddha's Light

within every atom, the Light that is the Mind of Christ

penetrating to the very corners of our existence,

the utmost reaches of the Universe, the One Light shines eternally,

and will forever shine within true men and women the world over.

There are many pathways to One Place. It is simple.

Do not be confused by names. Your duty is the Holy

Quest to your soul, to that which you have always been,

even before your parents were born.

I asked God one time, "What am I?" God answered in a loud Voice,

"You are an empty vessel." It is through this empty vessel

that I write to you these words.

I KNOW GOD EXISTS, BECAUSE I HAVE SPOKEN TO HIM

RESURRECTION OF THE DEAD

First let me give you a few quotations from the holy gospels
which have been found in 1945 at Nag Hammadi, Egypt,
2000 years after the life of Christ:


"While we are in this world, it is fitting for us to acquire
the resurrection, so that when we strip off the flesh we shall be
found in rest and not walk in the middle."
(Gospel of Philip)

"Those who say that the Lord died first and
(then) rose up are in error, for he rose up first
and then died... first attain the resurrection."
(Gospel of Philip)

"God is a dyer. As the good dyes, which are called "true"
dissolve with the things dyed in them, so it is with those who
God has dyed."
(Gospel of Philip)


Jesus said:"He who drinks the waters from my mouth
will become as I am. I myself shall become he,
and the things that are hidden will be revealed to him."
(Gospel of Thomas)

Jesus said:"What you look forward to has already come,
but you do not recognize it."



Where to begin? Unenlightened people in the early days
of Jesus were called "the dead". It was necessary for those
who are dead to be awakened. One must go through the
Great Realization in this life, in order to experience
the Resurrection: one who has gone through
this experience is called, "risen from the dead".
Realization is a mystery in which "the two become one",
the seeker and the teacher become One in the same.

When the Master teaches you,
you do not gain something,ie: like gaining
knowledge. No, when you are taught
by the Christ, you become something.

"Split a piece of wood, and I am there. Lift up the
stone and you will find me there."
(Gospel of Thomas)


This is not to say that the Resurrection does not
continue into the next life. In fact, if you have
Awakening in this life, you will know where
you are going in the next.
I am perhaps doing you a disservice in
setting out an explanation as to how this
experience works.
Let me be clear. There is NO EXPLANATION
for these things. For what happens and how it
happens is God's own mystery. What we must do
is prepare a place within, a space for God's Grace
to enter in.
What we do is meditate and wait for the One
to speak.

It is a gift from Christ that this Realization
teaches us the meaning of eternal life.
Through the mystery of the Resurrection,
the one who waits in meditation and the
anointed one of God become One.
In this mysterious union which is Resurrection,
the seeker changes, and in changing sees
Life Eternal. And this experience
is a joyous experience, and the joy remains
afterwords for a long time.

"He who realizes the meaning of these words
will not taste death." (Gospel of Thomas)

The promise of life beyond death: that the
realization that awakens the experience
of life eternal exists and is available
to all who seek, is what has
given hope to the earth - not hope based on
the future, but hope that arises out of
present reality.

"Knowledge makes them capable
of becoming free."

"Love never calls something its own.
It never says, "This is yours" or "This is mine".

Love says: "All these are yours."
(Gospel of Philip)

REVELATION WILL COME. THE CHURCH OF THE OPEN ROAD

We all face times of great doubt and times when our bad habits get
us down. This is normal. In fact, it is necessary to doubt greatly
if one is to come to great realization. Without first having the
question, there can be no answer.
It is needed that the small mind, the mind of so-called rational
thought, find its own limitations. This is likened to the old gray rat
going into the dead-end alley, the place where analytical questioning
must end.
A higher faculty of mind must take over when one seeks answers to
questions about human meaning. The question is: "What is the
meaning of life?" This question used to torment me when I was
a young man. And the answer will not be provided by the rational
intellect.
The difficulty with Western Philosophy is: it creates a problem
where none exists.
In the East this higher faculty of mind is called prajna and its
activity seems to takes place in an area behind the center of the
forehead. It has also been called the third eye. And this is the
place of spiritual reasoning.

I undertook to do an inquiry into Christian Origins. And it seems
as if I have gotten to the bottom of things. This is the most difficult
assignment your Roving Reporter has ever been sent on.
Jesus Christ grew out of the Essene community. If you wish
to research the Essenes, John Allegro has a blog that touches upon
them. I should say, "A man called Jesus Christ" because the history
of the matter is unclear.
Christ is important, not because he was a highly special God-
man who performed miracles. No, these notions just make the
Christ a hot property which the church could monopolize for
incredible profit, cash, and respect in the community. In fact,
the Christ is important because he is so ordinary: that this
wondrous Vision of God came out of the poverty of the ordinary
man.
And the Vision is one of love and knowledge. It might take
blind faith to get to the place where the Vision exists; but it
takes a knowing experience in order to realize the Vision.
Christ is more important as a state of Mind than He is as
a particular person who lived two thousand years ago.
I put capitals on words pertaining to Christ, because
once the Mind that is Christ is realized, it is the Vision of God.
Out of the ordinary soul, there is thisVision that is divine.

This material ends up being very simple. As Father Belyea
used to say: "Nobody sees the obvious."
But what is indeed miraculous is that this Heart-Mind
that spans the centuries comes out of the most ordinary soil.
And what changes the ordinary into the divine? This is the same
question as, "What is the Meaning of Life?" Or, "What's
going on?" Let us call the agency that transforms the ordinary
into the divine, let us call it, "the Eucharist."
But it is not the eucharist you will be offered in church.
Or at least not in what passes for church in this day and age.
The mystery has been taken out of our religion. The Bible has
been emasculated.
And it has gotten so bad that the church has negated
the very existence of the Great Realization.

This is the very heart of what the earliest Christians were
confronting, as they were emerging out of the Essene community:
the mystery as to how this man they knew as an ordinary man
in the very midst of them became the Son of God.
They knew he was the carpenter's son, from Galilee. And who
believes a prophet that comes from your own town? You knew him
when he was growing up and when he did really stupid things.
As it says in the Bible: "Can anything good come out of Galilee?"
Well, something did.

The other day I heard a song from Jamaica, and the singer
was assuring his people that "Revelation will come." Well,
it has come and it is here. And any ordinary person can
put him/herself in that place where Revelation will come.
But first it is necessary to empty a place within you.
Empty yourself of the monkey-like mind that always
has another thought; empty yourself of erroneous thought.
Empty yourself of ignorance which is like a fog that prevents
you from seeing. In fact, empty yourself of everything you
have ever been taught.
Prepare a place within you and Grace will come. And
in that place, Christ will arrive also. And Christ is the Vision
that is the Meaning of the Eternal.

"Whoever finds the meaning of these words will not taste death."
(Gospel of Thomas)

Jesus said: "If the flesh came into being because of spirit,
it is a wonder. But if spirit came into being because of the
body, it is a wonder of wonders. Indeed, I am amazed
at how this great wealth has made its home in this poverty."



What I am saying to you, you will not hear it in the churches
of this day. You would have had to live in the first century A.D.
in order to hear this - the earliest message of the one who is
called Christ.
Rather than go to church, open a church, a temple within you.
Open an empty place and tend it as you would a loved one's
grave. Be patient and wait, and I assure you... the sacred will come.
Join me. For in this church, the doors can never be locked.

This is the church of the open road.

EASTER PILGRIMMAGE AND GRAIL QUEST

The idea is this: allow the death of the small self (also called
the ego, but this phrase can be confusing, associated with much
psychological paraphernalia).
The name that your parents gave you, going back seven generations,
allow this to die and awaken to your Fundamental Self, formless and
free, also called the Christ. (But this, too, causes much confusion -
this word, this phrase, Christ - especially in the West, where rediscovering
your innermost nature as Christ is very much associated with
madness).
Allow the anointed one to arise within you.
I would not bother with this teaching if there were
anyone else in our culture
exposing this.
Great poems have been written and wondrous drawings
made - all by half-forgotten artists and seers. And the best of them
do not care to be remembered.
The key is to awaken to the Fundamental Self,
which identity arises without attachments, beneath and beyond the
world of grasping. Do not be enslaved to grasping.
These words come after much travel on my part
and incessant study, all thoughts of which have been
discarded.
After all, I say only this:

"The willows are green
And the flowers glow."

(Not my poem).

Sit in the silence, away from all expectations. Allow the
quiet to reign. One fine morning, after all intricacies, all
intellectual debate and after all philosophical issues
are quelled, you will awaken to your ordinary mind,
which is the holiest ground of all.
After the journey or ten thousand miles, the sense of wonder
will grow.
Then you will know me and know yourself and you will
REALIZE the holy one, man of no titles.

Request in prayer the blessings of all the saints as you begin
the most difficult journey around all the worlds: to voyage to that place...
where you already are.


Happy Easter

THE GREATEST LIE THAT'S EVER BEEN TOLD

The power of the Roman Empire and the empire's church destroyed as
many of these early gospels as could be found by the Tenth Legion
entering Egypt. Those legions that were to follow continued the destruction
of holy books that the Roman Empire and its church denounced as
being "heresy", as being "abominations". The fact of the matter is
the texts the empire church condemned were actually the True Vine
of Christ's Vision and message.
So the very earliest followers of Christ and His Eucharist,
those who knew how to partake of real Holy Communion with the Christ,
these holy men and women from the time of the Saviour and the
hundred years after his "death" were forced to run for their very lives.
It was necessary to escape to the hills or else be put to the sword.
The Roman empire and its church were not going to put up with a
bunch of dangerous revolutionary crazies who actually were sharing their property and food in common and were living the way of life taught by
the Christ, the holy One of God.
They gathered together in a ceremony in which their leader allowed his
Flesh to be eaten as food for the Spirit,
and allowed His Blood to be drunk as nourishment for the Soul...

In order to be fair and see both sides of the issue, I'm sure
it all seemed a little nuts to the Romans - especially the part about
relinquishing your personal property.The Romans took property law
especially seriously. They were nothing if not practical.
Also, this bit about drinking the blood of the leader and eating his flesh
seemed a bit barbaric, even to the Romans! This is saying something!
The Romans were people who participated in blood baths themselves,
standing under the slit throat of a sacrificed bull, or some other dying,
bleeding beast; they allowed the blood to pour down all over them
in sacrifice to one of their gods or another.
So if the Romans thought you were far out there, beyond the pale: too
weird to trust and too barbaric to be tolerated, well... you either had to be
a real monster, or the propaganda against you had to be monstrously
effective.
Propaganda (ie:the lie) is not just rampant in our 21st century.
The Roman Empire knew all about its uses, too. The Romans were
conquerors; they knew how to discredit an enemy before they
attacked them. This is exactly what they did to the early followers
of Christ.
They saw there was money and power in this growing religion
following a so-called Messiah who had been crucified in Jerusalem.
The Roman Empire knew all about money and power. So when they saw this growing movement, they wanted some of the action. But some of the more
foolhardy beliefs (to the Romans) of the early Christians simply had to be
changed.
So they took the earliest gospels and hired a ghost writer. The gospels
took on an even narrative line, which is a mark of later, more sophisticated
literature. The early holy books were changed to become acceptable to
the Roman way of life. Almost all of the mysticism was taken out of
the holy texts. The gospels became middle of the road. And one thing
the Romans knew how to build was roads.
Some gospels didn't even make it into the Bible. The gospel of John
was very nearly excluded by the council of Nicea, 425 A.D. This was
essentially a meeting of the religious Chamber of Commerce, which
tossed out any heresies, oddities, abominations, and especially
any inconvenient truths those nasty little books had to offer.
The truth of the Messiah was being made respectable, which is to say
it was being controlled.

So the earliest disciples of Christ were portrayed as being monstrous barbarians , who were suspiciously communist, and who were blasphemers
of the Roman Jupiter. And later, after the Council of Nicea, after the
church at Rome had taken over the cash business of the forgiveness of souls,
these earliest ones who communed with Christ were condemned as
heretics and discredited. They were also murdered. Burned at the stake,
thrown to the lions, put to the sword and banished.
So it was also with the earliest, arguably the most faithful gospels.
None of them made it into the Big Book. They were just too revolutionary
to be tolerated by a comfortable, materialistic society with its deceptively simplistic religion now called Christianity. All the hard parts have been
taken out.
The Bible had been emasculated.

Western religion has been hijacked by a bunch of thugs. And the first
thing these thieves did was control the supply. They created a monopoly
in the God business. Then they set about stepping between God and man
and demanded a percentage of everyone's income as the price of
forgiveness.
Unbelievable! And then they insisted that you "believe"
based on no evidence at all. They tore the guts out of the real
Eucharist, the real Communion with Christ, and they handed you a dry
wafer and expected you to nod your head in blind agreement.
And if you disagreed publicly, then they sent in their enforcers and
they made you squeal out your agreement under torture.
The message was: "Don't mess with our supply!"
"This is our territory; you mess with us, you're dead!" The
Inquisition lasted a very long time indeed. It wasn't just one hundred
years of thuggery. It was something like six hundred years of strong-arm
tactics, torture and murder. And the worst part of it was that the God
drug was cut! There wasn't any product there at all! Nothing real!
Because the Truth really will make you free... And the church of the
Empire instinctively knew this. Once men got a taste of the real thing,
there was just no way anyone would take those priests seriously...

Jesus, the Christ, the Anointed One of God said this:
"Woe to the pharisees,for they are like a dog sleeping in a manger
of oxen, for neither does he eat nor does he let the oxen eat."
(Gospel of Thomas.)

The pharisees were the priests of His time. They wanted the same thing
many of the priests of today want. They want power and control and to be
seen as important. They also want the cash necessary for them to assume
their high place in society - comfortable cars, comfy homes and the
unearned respect of their fellow men.
And they keep the keys to the doors of the church, the keys to the
altar of God, keys which are too often used to lock those doors and keep
other people out. Just try getting into a church at night!
These are the guys who arranged for the crucifixion of Our Saviour.

Luckily there are other altars of God out of doors, places of power
throughout the world where the true followers of the Vision
may meditate and pray.
It has been written:

"I will not send my son again to be crucified among men.
Instead, in this new age, men shall be crucified upon the Christ."

Make of this what you will... 2,000 years after the persecution
of the Saviour.






Christ has been made to appear so unique, so exceptional, so
impossibly above the ordinary man that the wrong impression is given.
If the Christ is that much of an exception, that different and special,
of a virgin birth, etc. then what man can hope to commune with Him?
No one can hope to realize the Christ within. To approach God, you need
the intervention of the priests. And that costs money.
It pays those who support the church hierarchy to make the Christ so miraculous and unapproachable that the ordinary man is alienated
from Him. This way the empire church can monopolize this unique jewel
that no one else has.
In fact, Christ is the innermost nature of all of us. He is not so different
and not so far away:

"Do not call me Master, for he who drinks the bubbling
spring of waters from my mouth,
he shall become as I am
and I shall be he,
and the hidden things shall be revealed to him."
(Italics mine). Gospel of Thomas.

I keep repeating this phrase, because it is essential to show the ancient
vision of communion with the anointed Christ and the mystery of
identity that is the core of it. This vision has been lost in modern times. We
are in desperate need of this true vision.
Our very survival depends upon it. The ancient knowledge of the
mysterious nature of the Eucharist; we must reclaim it, rediscover the
knowing experience.
It is the meaning we are growing towards;it is the flowering of our
future, it is the blossoming of our destiny.
It is the Way.

PRACTICAL STEPS TO GREAT REALIZATION

Now regarding matters of the Christ there is a Fundamental Issue,
a Fundamental Position that must be grasped. And it is a different problem than anyone supposes.
In approaching Christ, it is not enough to cling to blind faith and belief.
It is also impossible to follow His way. Who wants to lift up the cross and
be crucified? In practical terms, what do we do?
"Just take Christ into your heart," we are urged, "Have faith. Believe."
All this is fine, but it is not enough. What is required is that you prepare a place
within, a cavern, an empty space not filled with thought.
Prepare a place for Grace to come, which comes as a gift from the Father,
who sends his Comforter to you. The spirit that comes to fill you is the
Holy Spirit, which will not come by invocation.
You are preparing for the dark night of the soul. You are preparing to
meet the Christ in the most intimate way. You are preparing for
illumination, an entirely different way of seeing.
We are preparing for the Great Realization, Liberation. In all the world,
there is just one. There is no other.
It is the Realization of God and of your ultimate identity, through an
ultimate realization.

Christ is not separate from what you are.

It is necessary first to clear your mind of rational thought. The brain is busy -
like a monkey chasing its own tail. Stop trying to analyze everything. Stop trying to achieve anything. You've got to , "TRY NOT TO TRY". How's that for a
mind-cracker!
We are talking about Mindshocks here, about attaining an entirely different sense of reality. I am not saying, "Just have faith."
I am saying we've got to dig a little deeper. There's work to be done
to prepare yourself for Realization of the True One!
This is the Light at the end of the path.



_______________

A TALE OF EARLY OPPRESSION

Here's an example of the sort of oppression our early brothers and sisters in Christ faced when dealing with the temporal authority of their day.
At this particular time, about 430 A.D., the religious chamber of commerce
had decided which books were part of the Christian Canon and which books were heretical (see Council of Nicea, 425 A.D.). You see, those weird earlier Christians were actually holding property in common and giving all they had to their fellow
monks (and monkesses), and basically taking the revolutionary sayings of Jesus
the Christ seriously...
Well, the Roman Empire was nothing if not practical. And Christianity
had become the church of Rome. So "Christianity" meaning now the established
church in Rome simply had to take a rigid property law seriously, because not to do this simply did not make practical sense.
At the same time you have these groups of monastic mystics, whose whole purpose is to see God, and to commune with the Living One of God, and to be liberated by the visionary Truth of what they see...
It must be remembered, these men and women who saw God directly for themselves have no need of priests to intercede on their behalf. If they didn't need priests to see God, they didn't need to pay priests for forgiveness.

Panapolis was a town by the Nile River at this time. Across the river you could see the caves where the earthen jars that contained the forty to fifty texts
of the Nag Hammadi library were hidden away - to be found 2,000 years later.
Shenoute was abbot of the monastery at Panapolis. He represented the church of the Roman empire and was not amused to find a group worshipping at a nearby temple. This group referred to themselves as "kingless", and would not accept
Cyril, Archbishop of Alexandria, as their "illuminator". These terms are well known in the texts found at Nag Hammadi. This group represented what we might call the earlier Christians.
Shenoute called them "pagan heretics". He seized their "books full of abomination" and "of every kind of magic" (the very sort of speaking in tongues, words found at Nag Hammadi).
These groups of condemned Christians communicated with each other using
a code the Roman Church could not decifer. In fact, the founder of all the monastaries in the area had once used the same code.
Shenoute threatened these earlier Christians (called heretics): " I shall make you acknowledge...the Archbishop Cyril, or else the sword will wipe out most of you, and moreover those of you who are spared will go into exile."
Just as the Dead Sea Scrolls were put in jars for safekeeping and hidden at the time of the approach of the Roman Tenth Legion, the burial of the Nag Hammadi library in a jar may also have been precipitated by the approach of Roman authorities, who by then had become "Christian".
(Taken from the introduction of "The Nag Hammadi Library In English", introduction written by James M. Robinson. It should be noted that I paraphrased many of his words, and the particular expression of the argument is my own.)

Walt Whitman says it this way: "Whatever is nearest, easiest, cheapest is me."

Jesus, the CHRIST ( the annointed one, the bread of heaven) says: In so far
as you reject the least of these my people, you reject me. If you do it to the
least of these, you do it to me. (This is a paraphrase).

God as a woman speaks in "The Thunder, Perfect Mind" and says:
"I am the honoured one and the scorned one.
I am the whore and the holy one.
I am the wife and the virgin.
I am the mother and the daughter..."

"I am the bride and the bridegroom
and it is my husband who begot me
I am the mother of my father
and the sister of my husband
and he is my offspring..."

"Why, you who hate me, do you love me
and hate those who love me?
You who deny me, confess me,
and you who confess me, deny me..."

"For I am knowledge and ignorance.
I am shame and boldness.
I am shameless and I am ashamed.
I am stength and I am fear.
I am war and peace.
Give heed to me.
I am the one who is disgraced and the great one."

Earlier I was lamenting the fact that the Gospel of Mary was almost entirely destroyed. I also said I thought it would re-emerge somehow. Well, here it is!
This, "The Thunder, Perfect Mind", is also the Gospel of Mary - the Gospel of
Mary Magdalene, woman of ill-repute, woman of the streets, who is also the beloved of the Saviour, who washed the Christ's feet with oil and her own hair,
this is her Gospel.

In all of the above passages, the speaker identifies himself/herself with the
very lowest, cheapest and most scorned person of mankind.

To the Greeks in classical times, the greatest sin before the gods was "hubris".
Hubris is excessive self-confidence, arrogance. And the one thing the Greek gods
always punished was arrogance. Each of the Greek gods is one part of the human psyche; you can call them archetypes. (More on this later).

What these speakers above express in these passages is the very opposite of 'hubris'. They identify with the least proud in humanity - and this is true
humility and compassion.

Many priests should have learned this trait, as they drive by the people of the streets in their comfortable cars, and as they lock their church doors
to the scorned and homeless. In our society, people tend to judge those who
have less cash than they do.

This is a truly despicable trait, and one thing it is not, is Christian.

I don't know how it happens, but it does and we all do it; I remember driving by a group of homeless people at Sherbourne and Dundas in Toronto. I was in a silver-blue convertable Mercedes SL190 with red leather interior, and I remember feeling nothing but a little irritation that one of the street urchins had stumbled past my gleaming chrome fender... Oh, yeah, so I know exactle how some of those priests feel in their black Oldsmobiles and Lincolns with tinted
dark windows, as they wheel past the poor folks at 3:20 P.M. on their way to
drinks in an air-conditioned restaurant in Yorkville, ande a second lunch to follow. Let's call it "supper".

If you're down on your luck and lurching on the sidewalk in the summer heat,
one thing you can be sure of as these people wheel past: they're not thinking
of you!

By the way, years later I was to join the Dundas and Sherbourne crew for about a year and a half, so I know how it is.

If all the best minds of our generation, and any generation, say that their Vision
comes from a position of humility, who am I to argue with them?

So when you're driving by those disheveled, stumbling, lost souls on the street,
remember: maybe they're finding themselves.

As Dylan says, "Sometimes when you're at the top, you're at the bottom."

'Woe to those who have the keys to the Kingdom but do not enter; nor do they let
those enter, who wish to enter. They are like dogs in the manger, who do not
let the animals eat," says Jesus.

"I am the bread of life, sent from our Father in heaven."