Wednesday, June 26, 2019


What had happened to me?

I wanted to know

on that Christmas morning

all alone

I saw one star

amid a sky of cloud

I didn't understand

it wasn't possible

and I wondered with all those lost     dreams 

where I had gone

and lost myself beneath the wave

beyond the farthest mountain

under the sea

where lady with her red dress

was waiting

II saw fear in the great mirages
success, death, happiness
little did I know that
none of those
was permanent

I had to seem so tough
to confront you
a regular he-man
a regular screw
whatever happened to the child I knew
in the land of Nod?

then I started laughing
I laughed with that last star
as God's eye opened
and blessed me from afar
from beyond the rusted alleys
and the wasted streets
and the dull grey depression
that greets every success-bound
boy - a real rube I was
to some other tune

but then the laughter started
I don't know when it came
I just know that I no longer
was the same
the dark days had broken
their bats' wings on the walls
your gloomy illusion
did completely fall

and I was free again
free as I had been
free as the open skies
above a sheath of rain

free as the dark wildcat
with her quivered thighs
free as the sweet child
who no longer fears the night

free as the lost shepherd
coming home again
free as all the little boys
lost in the rain
with just a leather jacket
and nothing in his pants
free as the dark pines
towering over me

with a great Significance
oh don't ask what it means
free without the dark tide
that consumed my life
free as the lost chickens
playing in the grass
free as the adolescents
checking out the ass
of every passing schoolgirl
free as horses and maidens
sailing ships that pass

free as fourth of July crackers
as a madman's laugh
free as crickets in the night
and the crimson tide of death

free as dark beginnings
so lost then in the night
free as bears in the forest
walking on my path
and now in the forest laughing
laughing a new laugh

free as Christmas morning
with a little child
free as all true lovers
across the miles
free as broken English
on a sea-side holiday
free as new tires squealing
at the crack of day

free as the dark night
when all is lost
free as the new morning
drenched in the rain

and now I'm here without you
and I'm glad again
whatever did happen
to all the pain?

(C)2000 by W.G. Milne


Sunday, June 23, 2019


There’s a man sitting on a chair
in the middle of an empty room.

He’s hearing various voices, and talking
to some of them. characters he’s drawn up - but very real to him…personalities he does not
wish to lose… that arise out of and return to
some plenum void of the unconscious. In his
head he’s got almost all the characters
for a Shakespearian drama
Characters all based on real people,
some of them still alive, many of them dead,
and echoes he has heard of voices in
the night… some of them coming from
across the sea.
What’s worse is… the people downstairs,
the very real people are plotting to have him arrested….And he can hear their thoughts
The wife in particular is getting
annoyed that Charlie is constantly crushing his
medications… and snorting them… and of course
Charlie begins to get paranoid.
He endures waves of paranoid
fantasies, especially when he
is high from inhaling too much medical fuel.
When he is high he has preternatural
hearing — he can hear for miles, with a clarity
he can’t explain…it is almost supernatural
what he can hear.
And he’s hearing too much of the moralistic, complaining wife, droning on about calling the police.

Charlie: (growls in his throat) Or maybe she’s calling a priest. A S&M hooker priest with high heels and stockings
Have her read the sexual last rites to me while
berating my name…Staring down at me
with that great ass… (Charlie loves his landlady’s ass)

She: He’s cutting drugs up,
there. That’s all he’s done for days

Husband: It’s not cocaine… it’s just
anti-depressants - he snorts
them. ‘Just to curb the hunger inside.’
That’s what he said when I asked what
the fuck was he pounding and scraping at…

Husband shouts:We hear it real clear thru the floor!

She’s shouting up at the ceiling: “We hear you
when you masturbate, too!
Can’t you take it easy with the grunts and pounding, and that slapping sound?
It’s like somebody kicking a heavy bag…
What the hell is that?”

Husband: It sounds like he’s whipping

Wife: Let’s call the cops.. He’s making
horrible noises! What is he puking
up… a lung?

Husband: No! No cops around here! Last
time you called the cops on a
tenant, they almost took me away!

She grabs for the phone…



He: You can take a punch better than that! *

She: (crying, fondling a knife in her left hand,
the hand Shaky, the husband, can’t see).

He: “He pays his rent real regular and we need it.”

She: That crazy place up the hill pays his rent.

He: Naw, he pays it. He don’t want nothin more
to do with the crazy house. By the way,
They don’t call them crazy houses anymore.
They call them asylums…It’s more polite.

Brenda: swirls the olive in her drink, Says:
“It’ll always be the nuthouse to me.”
(pause…swirls the olive, one stockinged
leg crossed over the other, high heel shoe
slowly nodding in the air)

She: “I don’t care what they call it.
If you start hearing voices, you should be
locked up. These psychos can turn on you
at any time..Soon as they’re off their
medication, their dicks work again!
That fucker upstairs, he’s hearing voices all
the time!

Husband (Shaky): He’s hearing your voice!
You can bet on that!

She: He looks at me, stares right at my crotch
and he sniffs the air.HE SNIFFS THE AIR
stares at my ass…with those red eyes of his.
Like some beast in the forest at night!

Cassie, the wife,she continues: "Yeah, they get off their medication, then their dicks work again.
Then all they want to do is RAPE WHITE WOMEN!

He: I get it! I understand!

She: You should see the way he looks at me! And I can tell he’s got something in his hand!

He: Hell, I look at you that way,too!
You cut me off that pussy of yours
for a month, I'm running around with a tent pole
looking to fuck somethin’… anything warm.

She: Hey! Is that all you think I am
a warm pussy and a gorgeous ass?

He: slaps her ass, says: "I love that big ass
of yours. Right now,,, let me tongue your
ass hole.. Then call me a pig, tell me how
I’m weak, indecisive & obedient… and what a pig
I am. And how I have a small cock!
She: Honey, your cock is huge that’s why
I’m with you. It’s sure not your personality.
Ha! Ha!
He: Tell me it’s small! Go ahead, insult me!
She: "You’re a moron. You’ve got the job
of a moron! And the salary to match!”
He: Not like that! You know what I mean!
(He’s jacking off)

She: “You’re a premature ejaculator
He: That’s it! (he pants) What else?
She: You’ve been soft 90% of the time all
this year..!
He… yeah, that’s good! (beating off) Keep going!
She: And when you’re not soft, your cock
is too small to bother with…
He: YES!

She: I feel that beast upstairs staring
at me… I get all tingly between
my knees…
He: Yah?
She: I want him to beat me the way
he beats his meat. I want him
to beat my ass with a stick! Then
I want him to fuck me…

He: (panting)
She: I want him to fuck me 'til I scream!
He: (gasping. His hand is a blur it’s
moving so fast)
She: I can tell by his eyes that’s he’s
got a big dick…And he knows how
to use it, too. He’d have no trouble
getting it in me. All the way in me. Deep!

He: (… …)

She: He might be crazy,
but some crazy people have huge cocks!
I just bet he’s one of them… I want him
to fuck me with his huge cock!

He: (breathing hard) Don’t stop!
She: Those rare times when you get hard…

He: yah……………..?

She: You last about a minute…

He: "urf!" (he’s masturbating wildly… making
high-pitched hooting sounds …. as if he’s
being goosed repeatedly)

She: "What kind of a man are you? You crawl
across the bed towards me….

He: (panting)

She: You try to mount me…. but you’re too
pathetic to achieve penetration…. you
know what happens…

He: (He knows what happens, all right. It’s
beginning to happen now…. his dick is
twitching, throbbing up and down… the
eye of his considerable schlong winks
at her, before)…. just before…
his member which he’s pulling at with
both hands… begins to spurt in all
directions, especially hers…

She: You came on my stockings! Just now!
Once again!.. you didn’t make it
did you?

He: Noooooo!
She: You didn’t achieve penetration!
You’re pathetic! You came on my leg!
She: You know what you have to do now,
don’t you…
He: Yes. ma'am, I sure do.
He crawls over between her legs,
pushes his nose up between the lips of her
He knows all right. Yes, he does.
He sure does. He slips his tongue deep
inside her and allows it to happen.
…The gasping… The quivering…
©2014 Walker Ballantine