Sunday, November 22, 2020


THE BELLY OF THE BEAST AND HEAVEN'S DOOR - A DISCUSSION OF MANIC DEPRESSIVE ILLNESS------------ HOW TO PREDICT YOUR DANGEROUS TIMES The following article may seem not to apply to tennis. But if something like one out of ten people are affected by this illness, then it becomes significant, RE: "Managing the Mental Part of the Game" - What this Blog is all about. THE BELLY OF THE BEAST AND HEAVEN'S DOOR - A DISCUSSION OF MANIC-DEPRESSIVE ILLNESS;----------HOW TO PREDICT YOUR DANGEROUS TIMES One out of between ten to twenty players will be affected. I've been in the belly of the beast for three weeks now, underwater, in the tunnel. And the worst part of it - I didn't know it. I thought the Doom that I was feeling was permanent: feeling doom was simply reality, just the way it things are. Learn to live with it. Right! That is horrible advice! I feel just fine now. The cycle is moving along in its inexorable way and I don't worry about a thing. I can organize twelve things at once that's what I think in the manic part of my life. And the problem is, at that particular time, I really can do it! So I get twelve projects started, and people agreeing to work with me. I can make million dollar deals. I once put a bid in for a gravel pit. I put in a call to the owner at 7:30 A.M. and he was up. I asked him how much he wanted for his pit trucks, conveyers and loaders. He said 7 million. We phoned each other back and forth. By breakfast I had him down to 4 million.I'm good at that kind of bargaining. Problem was I had about three dollars in the bank. There was the fact that I didn't really want or need a gravel pit to begin with. You might say, "How crazy can you get? Buying something you don't even want." Well I can get a lot crazier than this. Once I get an IDEA and I'm manic, well, I'll follow the idea through rapidly It's all this manic energy running through me. You can make deals that you think you can manage. And maybe you would be able to manage a major enterprise, if you stayed in that manic state. Problem is, next comes depression. And when you are in deep clinical depression, all your ability to follow through is gone and all urges to follow through are extinguished. You are immobilized. And you can be in serious trouble. In deep and ongoing depression, the only creative urge you might have, is the urge to end the utter misery of your worthless life...(you are saying this to yourself. The negative script is a component of depression - and the voice(s) in your head telling yourself how stupid and useless you are, how lazy... And on top of these things, what a prick you are! This continuing script, in my view, has to be attacked. One quarter to one third of manic depressives kill themselves. So obviously it's a dangerous disease. I hadn't been taking my diagnosis seriously. I just thought I was way, way out there. I started plotting out my cycle for the depressed period, way before I knew about any diagnosis, I knew I was subject to a disturbing cycle. There's a short period of time during your depression, I call it "the depressive peak." That's when you have to really watch yourself. You can really go over the top, during the peak ( which might be 3 days or thee hours or three weeks). You have to counter the negative self-talk with positive images, which you have prepared repeatedly. There are ways to train yourself to picture one scene of a place you love, or a person you love with whom you feel grounded, or tender moments with a dog or cat. You find these moments of joy within yourself (And sometimes it takes a week to think up even one such image. Don't worry. Just don't stop. You need the positive image to counteract the ravening beast who is calling you names, deep in your own mind. Press one index finger on one hand against the index finger of the other hand. This becomes a trigger for you. Every time you press the two fingers together, you imagine your beautiful scene. When you have a horrible suicidal thought, you trigger the scene to offset the doom and gloom of the thought , and it helps...truly it does help. But it takes a while and it takes practice. You have to practice. The non-medicinal cure takes work. It works better if you can borrow a hypnotist to help you with your "imagining sessions" and to help you embed your image into your mind so you can call up the scenes of joy and happiness quickly, when you are in desperate straits. When you are under attack... We all get in desperate straits. I used to hit the depressive peak every thirty-four days. I'd map the times of my cycle. I had to, to protect my life, it was a lot better when I knew the timing of each phase my cycle time map. I used to call it my 'psyche map'. At least when you are attacked, when this dark curtain is pulled across your heart and mind, you know when it's coming. You have a calendar of days. You have a map of your own psyche. By writing down notes on each stage of your cycle, as you pass through each cycle, you can nail the time frames down. It will take about three times through, to get a somewhat accurate cycle time map. You know when your depressive peak is coming And more important you know when it's leaving, and you know it IS GOING TO LEAVE. You know this dark beast is leaving. And you have a projection as to how soon it will leave. So you know this terrible darkness will stay for just so long. This way you are dealing with a finite situation. You are no longer facing infinite misery. The feeling of Doom will NOT stay with you for the rest of your life. Just this one little step can make a huge improvement in your life. You are going from passive to active. And that always feels good and helps relieve the feeling of "helpless" and "hopeless" Of course , there are exceptions! I've just come out of a 2 or 3 month depression and I didn't even know I was depressed! Sometimes it comes up on you from behind... And creeps into your being slowly, oh so slowly that you don't feel its presence or it's growing power over you, until you're in a situation that seems impossible to change. (This is starting to sound like a sci-fi movie) . The weird stuff happens. There's no denying this fact. But I'd say the 'psyche cycle',the timing of your cycle, which enables you to project your dangerous time... I'd say this works and will help you 8/10ths of the time. Good luck and happy hunting. Respectfully submitted, R.R.R. (C)2014 by William G. Milne Posted by WILLIAM MILNE at 3:27 PM Email This BlogThis! Share to Twitter Share to Facebook Share to Pinterest

Thursday, November 19, 2020

On The Way: The Daily Zen Journal Nov 15 2020 The Sermon of No Words Takashina Rōsen (1876-1968) There is an ancient saying: “Better an inch of practice than a foot of preaching.” It refers to the sermon preached by the body itself, through action and without speaking. The sermon of words and phrases is the finger pointing to the moon, the fist knocking at the door. The object is to see the moon not the finger, to get the door open and not the knocking itself; so far as these things do achieve their objects they are fine. The object of the Buddha's life of preaching was not to turn words and phrases. The Diamond Sutra compares his sermons to a raft, which is only an instrument for reaching the far shore. The sermon which is an instrument can be discarded after a time, but the real preaching---which is not discarded—is the preaching by the body itself. As to what that preaching may be, the truth of it is very profound, but in simple language it means that others receive right inspiration from that person. It is said that when a Bodhisattva has continued his or her spiritual practice for three kalpa-ages s/he is qualified to be a Buddha. After a hundred ages, their appearance becomes majestic. This does not mean anything outwardly magnificent, but it means that in helping others the manner in which the things are done is of first importance, and through the force of wisdom and compassion there manifests in them a peculiar dignity and tenderness. By contemplating the form of Bodhisattvas like Kannon and Jizo, one's heart becomes somehow softened, but along with that there is something awe-inspiring which cannot be easily expressed. When a person feels it within all the time, it is naturally reflected in his or her outward appearance, and love and respect are attracted to them from others. What gives us inspiration is the sermon of action of the Bodhisattvas. They have the power to do it without uttering a word. But it is not to be confined to Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. For religious and other teachers, for all who stand in authority whether over many, as head of a household with many dependents, or as employer of a single man or woman, it is all-important. A sermon is not something said by the Buddha long ago, or prated nowadays from a pulpit. The sermon of words is like a sort of advertising puff; but the real sermon is when the employer acts as a right employer, the worker as a right worker, and so on with the merchant and official. All things, dogs and cats, trees and grass, things animate and inanimate, have also to express their right path, and, so far as they keep to it without faltering, it is the sermon of action. A poem of Sontoku expresses it: “Without voice or incense, heaven and earth are ever repeating the unwritten scripture.” The man called Reiun was realised when he saw the peach blossoms; Kyogen when he heard a stone strike against bamboo. There are instances of people who having matured their spiritual training were then enlightened on seeing the flying petals and falling leaves of autumn. The Buddha himself had great realization on seeing the brilliance of the morning star. In the same way the mountains and rivers and sun and moon and stars, every morning and night, are preaching the sermon to bring us to realization. We should understand that it is never effective merely to rebuke others harshly. Let each of us keep to our own role and play it properly; then a beauty will manifest spontaneously; high and low will be affected, and their conduct will change to harmony and virtue. Since the self is a creation of the mind and good and bad too are from the mind or, rather, correspond to the spiritual beauty or ugliness of the person, the first thing is to train the mind. Training produces a charm and power which appears externally and affects others. There are various ways and means in spiritual training, but the first thing is faith. One's faith may be true or false, right or mistaken, shallow or deep, high or low and so on. When this reverent faith bubbles up in us, our everyday limited nature of itself begins to shine with the light of compassion, and the beauty and power of the true heart break forth, and we move in harmony with the Buddha-light. When this happens the virtues of the Buddha-body are ever in our breast, and from head to foot our action is prompted by the Buddha. Such is the life of faith, and in it every incident preaches the sermon of action. Those who have not light in their hearts are always in darkness, a darkness in which a hundred demons come and go. Under their sway, life goes from darkness to darkness, ordinances of heaven are broken, and there is much suffering. Faith is all important to people, and it is given to us by religion. There are different religions also, but in Japan Buddhism has come down in an unbroken stream for well over a thousand years and has deeply penetrated the life of the people. If we live with faith in the Way and in the Bodhisattva spirit preach the sermon of action, we ... demonstrate the sermon of no words to the people of the world, and this is the supreme task today. Takashina Rōsen (1876-1968) Source: A Second Zen Reader By: Trevor P Leggett 2020

Monday, October 19, 2020


O LET SILENCE COMPEL US TO SEE MYSTERY WE ARE HERE NOW BOTH YOU AND ME, DO YOU NOT THINK "WHAT IS THIS GOING? Where's this wind blowing To a heartland of bliss?" Beginning and ending Who makes the rules? Without some real insight We are the fools! From wonder to wonder Each tender kiss O teach us to see straight It's too good to miss! You who now doubt The very rock where you step You were born here, Agnostic, Tell me, What's this? (C)2019 by W.G. Milne

Saturday, October 10, 2020


MOONSHINE SKETCHES OF A PICKLED TOWN I don't know whether you know WAIT-A-BIT!, if not it is of no consequence. For if you know the North of Canada at all, you probably know a dozen towns just like it. There it lies in the Moonlight, sloping up from the Big River, the Mackenzie River sweeping along its range of mountains rolling down along its miles of woodlands, the wide river runs rolling on towards the sea. And silence, the wide wild silence of the Arctic, tempered by the caw of ravens, sweetened with the howl of wolves, and seasoned through all seasons, by endless light and interminable darkness. There it lies in the Moonlight, sloping up from the wild river at the foot of the hillside on which the town is built. There is a wharf beside the river, and a moveable section of floating wharf which forms a “T” into the river. There are three boats upturned beside the wharf. The boats go nowhere. Men used to go fishing in them, but the freshwater sharks that come down from the ocean inhibit the fish from coming to this corner of the river. The bears still catch fish north of here, ion the shallows where the river runs very wide. And indeed the 100 pound weasels, known as wolverines; they have been seen eating the occasional carcass of a shark. There's a pair of binoculars at Artie's Bar... And we watch the weasels cavort over the shark carcass down the hill on the mudflats by the river. The boats go nowhere. The distances are too great, the immensity is so vast... So the remaining inhabitants of Wait-A-Bit!, the ones who have survived ( and I am lucky to say that I am one) we sit here, sons and daughters of Intemperance, and we observe the immensity... The inhalation of solvents is discouraged, but the use of alcohol has been approved of once again, as being indeed necessary to contemplate the Eye of the Universe which is looking back at us. (c) 2013 by William G. Milne All rights reserved. Posted 7th December 2013 by WILLIAM MILNE

Tuesday, September 15, 2020


 The finest woman you'll never see

Is singing close and distantly

In a cavern whispering

By a fountain in the forest eaves

Will you always stand alone

by the waters and the moon?

Will you be returning soon,

Will you lead your poet home?

Love can make a man go mad

In poets such madness is terminal:

She stares full face into my eyes

Says, "This is your birth or your funeral."

Her smile's a holy sight,

A reward beyond imagining;

We rise to love then fall to die

And I

I write verses for you others sing.

(C)2018-2020 by W.G. Milne


ROSEMARY with band..JOHNNY ROCK returning from JAMAICA

This take of Rosemary was done with a full band. Barry played like an angel in this song. Rob Joanisse's drumming is fab. It's a more stirring version that the duet version which is unemotional.There are a few tempo shifts which are disturbing, but not too bad. Let's see how it sounds...(It's done at the same session as 'Exhausted Man Blues") So the band is pretty hot, I love this song but it has to be sung with intensity or it's no good. This one's pretty intense.
(C) 1980-2017 by W.G. Milne and JOHN ROCK CORPORATION, all rights reserved

Joe Rogan Experience #606 - Randall Carlson