THE BELLS ARE RINGING IN THE HILLS; MELISSA IS SCREAMING IN THE GARAGE! STUDIES IN THE FEMALE ORGASM

        I had to stop writing about religious matters because I was starting to see cross-eyed and I was getting threats from the religious community. Subtle comments like: "YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!"which got me laughing.        Or, DO YOU KNOW WHAT HELL IS LIKE? I e-mailed back, "I can arrange tours. Starting  at 2:45P.M today. Bring women and liquor!"

         Then I got into this more important subject, and I ran into Walker Ballantine's  famous article: "THERE ARE TWO REASONS I GET ON MY KNEES!" And I knew I was onto the scent. This story has already taken me into some strange and disreputable places. And Ballantine's mind is stranger and more disreputable than most washrooms in most train stations.


         Take Melissa, for example. I have her tied over an armchair in the garage, an armchair I
have flipped over onto the cement upside down.  So I could tie her naked limbs spread eagle to the legs of the chair. I can hear her screaming, howling really, into the night. I should  shut the garage door. 
          It's 4:30 A.M. and the neighbours need to sleep.
          My closest neighbour is my attending physician, but he'd rather not attend.


           Oh, that was a good one! She's really putting her back into it No one can scream like that
unless they really mean it! The dogs around the lake are starting to bark...If the people in her legal office could see her now!
            To put your minds at rest, your Roving Reporter comports himself with the utmost
integrity at all times. I obtained a 13 page "Medical and Legal Release" and had her sign it in triplicate. The RELEASE is iron-clad. I know because I drafted it myself.
            Also I work with a male psychiatrist  and a female Masters in psychology. Sometimes I have to employ a couple of hookers as well.


             A few principles of sexology, penned by yours truly.
              Principle 1: There is nothing 'nice' about orgasm.( Especially in Melissa's case because she has not had an orgasm in 35 years. And frankly that's just damn unhealthy - for her and for everybody else. She's a strong woman physically and mentally. And around the office she's turning into a real prick. She came to me for help and I told her I'd take the job, but it wasn't going to be pleasant. And it was going to cost her!
              
             Principle 2: Tools and fuel are necessary.

( NOTICE- PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS ARTICLE IF YOU ARE UNDER 18!   I don't need more legal hassles. WARNING: THIS CASE STUDY INCLUDES SADOMASOCISTIC ELEMENTS. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY SUCH SUBJECTS, READ NO FURTHER)
               
               Principle 3:  Extreme Measures May Have to Be Taken.
                Case History:(a) The subject attended a catholic girls school for 13 years.
                                        (b) Her father is  psychotic. The very thought that his daughter is having sex with anyone throws him into a destructive rage. Last week he managed to gain entrance into her underground parking garage and he attacked her BMW with a fire axe.
                                      (c) Her mother's favourite expression when talking to her was: "A person of your quality need never cry." The psychological damage that this cruel advice has caused Melissa is incalculable.


                Once she was tied up and naked with her buttocks up near the ceiling, I administered a sedative orally (which, believe me, she was  going to need).
                 Melissa doesn't really like me, and her disdain is useful in this case.


                  Principle 4:Fear and shock are necessary psychological tools. 

                  At the moment she is penetrated anally by a radio-controlled device designed especially for that purpose.  I can adjust the speeds from up here in the house.
                   When she wakes up from the sedative in several hours, I have a surprise planned
that will  scare the hell out of her. Then all her resistance will be gone. She will be utterly compliant
and I can really go to work on her.
                     She will endure orgasm soon after dawn. After 35 years, it will not be a quiet
procedure.
                      She will not forget the moment. It will be an experience she will treasure for the rest of her life. How she will feel about me afterwards remains to be seen.


                       But I am a professional. I am used to the mixed feelings of the women I cure. Sometimes their hatred persists.


                                                                                      PLEASE NOTE: THE ROVING REPORTER  IS NOT A DOCTOR. AND DESPITE THE UNDOUBTED SUCCESS OF HIS METHODS, VERY FEW MEMBERS OF THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY APPROVE OF HIS PRINCIPLES.