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Sunday, June 3, 2018

"PURSUIT BY THE DEAD OR THE LIZARD PEOPLE and GRINNING COPS WITH TOO MUCH EYE CONTACT


(PRODUCT DESCRIPTION of my book at amazon.com: SANTA'S URBAN SURVIVAL GUIDE) E-BOOKS AND KINDLE






SANTA, A STREET-SMART  SINGER, BAND-LEADER, AND EX-ATTORNEY IS EXPERIENCED IN BOTH SIDES OF THE LAW,. HE'S A DRINKER AND HE'S A DRUG EXPERT...HE'S ALSO A SADOMASOCHIST. 

       IN THIS HUMOROUS BOOK  HE GIVES YOU TIPS AND METHODS FOR SURVIVING THE FOLLOWING -- INTENSE HALLUCINATIONS, ARREST DURING INTENSE HALLUCINATIONS AND THE ALL-CONSUMING PARANOIA DUE TO TOXIC-PSYCHOSIS -- PURSUIT BY THE DEAD OR THE LIZARD PEOPLE; PURSUIT BY ANIMALS WITH PRETERNATURAL INTELLIGENCE, WHO SPEAK YOUR
YOUR NAME.
       
       PURSUIT BY SMILING SNAKE WOMEN WITH ICE PICKS OFFERING APPLES, BY MOTHERS WITH FORKED TONGUES WORKING FOR THE NAZIS, BY GREY-HAIRED OCCULT MASTERS WHO STARE AND WANT YOUR SOUL... BY SADISTS WITH ROPES, BY A GRINNING TRAFFIC COP WITH TOO MUCH EYE CONTACT WHO KEEPS FONDLING SOMETHING IN HIS POCKET...
        PURSUIT BY CASTRATING NURSES, ALSO, BY NEIGHBOURS WHO ARE REALLY DEMONS IN DISGUISE...TROUBLE WITH PHYSICAL ATTACK AND PSYCHIC ATTACKS, ABERRANT PSYCHIATRISTS, FEES OF HORNY ADDICT ATTORNEYS.

       WHAT TO SIGN AND WHAT NOT TO SIGN IN A LOCKED UNIT... UNSPOKEN RULES OF JAIL; BIKERS, STRIPPERS, BOOZERS, SATANIC HOUSEKEEPERS... WHAT NOT TO SIGN IN A LOCKED PSYCHIATRIC FORENSIC UNIT... NUNS AND JUDGES WITH NYLON STOCKINGS UNDER THEIR ROBES. 

      THERE IS VERY LITTLE THAT SANTA HASN'T EXPERIENCED AND THERE ARE VERY FEW FORMS OF WEIRDNESS HE HAS NOT LEARNED TO MANAGE... WHEN YOU READ THIS BOOK YOU'LL KNOW HOW DEEP THE PLOT CAN GO... ... 

THIS BOOK MIGHT SAVE YOUR LIFE! OR AT LEAST REDUCE YOUR SENTENCE...

                                                     *

WHEN YOU'RE CAUGHT BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE OR
WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE A FEW LAUGHS, THIS IS THE BOOK TO READ!







THIS IS MY ADVERTISEMENT -- TRYING TO SELL THE BOOK








(To me the ad seems hilarious!)    E-Book costs  $3.16