IF YOU MEET A GORGEOUS WOMAN ON THE BUS…

        So I went to see Clinton just down the street. He was in a bad mood; he drank way too much Wray and Nephew’s

“full strength RUM” …I love that stuff so I’m not judging, only saying…


             He said: “What does a white man know about Jamaica? Or reggae?”

                    I say, “You already know what I know.” He already has three of my albums.


              You know how people get when they’re plastered.

I used to walk the little prick to school. And I never liked school. I thought the teachers were lying – just like the priests.

*    *   *

OK, to be half-way fair, some of the teachers were

great people. But not good with business. They could teach you grammar ( and thank God for that). But they could not run a shoeshine parlour.

                   Remember that when you elect your next premier.

*  *  *


                             (I shouldn’t  say this —- just when she  might be getting smart.)



                 That’s not the punch line!  Give me a few minutes… maybe an hour…

                   I’m worse than the teachers!



                                     *     *     *




          I’m a bit of a hermit. So I had to get out.

               I went to see Marty just down the street.

               I say, ” Marty, your kitchen is full of garbage and flies! Why don’t you just toss  it?”

                       He said: “If I throw out the garbage, the fruit flies come for me!”

*****************

                         Don’t bother me. I’m drinking.

                                      ******************

        Those stories I found hilarious the night before; they’re not always so funny in the morning.


*************************

Especially If my wife reads them.

Wait a minute, I don’t

have a wife..?


Do I?

*****************************

I get all these messages from women on a dating site (which I don’t pay for)… I look at their pictures, some of which I’ve already seen in skin mags.

         I say, “yeah right! This centerfold really needs a date!”


*******************************

      Though some of these ladies are real people, And I’d

like to talk to them… but I’m not paying $39. 99 each month for the privilege.

                    Besides, it’s just possible – they’d be better off without me.



Ho! Ho! I don’t believe that.







(C)2017 by W.G. Milne



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