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Thursday, December 31, 2015

IT'LL TEACH US TO SAY THE WORD, SORRY!... ... .. GREAT BIG WOLVERINES GENETICALLY ALTERED WITH HUMAN D.N.A.




 

I flew down to the Big Smoke this month to make the annual booze

purchase for the entire village.All of us have been drinking entirely too

much, especially the preacher.

Once again we had voting day. One more time the entire village

choose to buy alcohol rather than install electricity or plumbing. I
agreed totally. If I'm too weak to make it
to the outhouse and I
can't see well enough to shoot some predators on the way... well then,

you'd better just shoot me.

I made a recent discovery. If you're walking out into the savage night

and you're not wearing any pants under your long coat - it improves  your eyesight and focus. If you fear a weasel or a wolf, or even our
own 'domestic' dogs, if you fear something's gonna bite yer balls off.
by surprise - well, shit! You're gonna pay close attention.

I'm lucky in that I've got good periferal vision. And I can sense
if somethin's gaining on me in the night. And I'm real quick with my
gun - can shoot a surprised rat, nail him every time. We don't have to

eat rat up here any longer. but we did have a few tough years
after that motherfucker incinerated the town. I still think of that fuckface now and then. And if I catch him one night when I'm
drinking, I'll show him the meaning of the word, "SORRY"!




GREAT BIG WEASELS WITH HUMAN D.N.A.
DEVIL BEASTS WITH MALEVOLENCE AND INTELLIGENCE

___________________________________________________



        I'VE HEARD of wolverines that are angry, pissed off,

and malevolent already. When a trapper's gone, they've

been known to break into his cabin...eat his food and piss

all over his blankets. What food the wolverine's too full to eat, he'll

dig a hole and bury it - and he'll piss all over that, too,

before he covers it up again with sand and leaves.

           The piss of a wolverine some say is worse than  the spray of a  skunk.

           One thing we didn't need was to get these fuckers

meaner and smarter with human D.N.A. They were

pretty smart already, trust me.

 

 

DEVIL BEASTS GENETICALLY ALTERED WITH HUMAN D.N.A.

____________________________________________________

 

There is your normal big weasel. Then there is your abby-normal

big weasel or grizzly... I've heard tell of a GMO experimental

lab to the east of us, perched on the edge of a cliff near the

site of the Cave Bear People, doing experiments on

your basic wolverine.

Now, that was five years back I heard those stories.

The rumour was they were doing those experiments

for military purposes - mixing human DNA with the DNA

of fierce animals (as if they aren't fierce enough).

       The native folks already call 'wolverine' "THE DEVIL."

Now the wolverine is bigger - 150 to 200 pound wolverines

exist now. There never used to be devil beasts that big. But with

the human DNA in the big weasels...well...

                 "Don't tell Artie this", I tell Hank but the human DNA might   explain the devil-beasts raping humans in the northern

villages, including our Foxhole Village at

Wait-A-Bit. Savage creatures indeed! Hard to imagine

what a mix of those two devious minds might produce,"

Triple bee-screen Frank says.

                "Hey, don't tell me any more!" Hank says.

He's  hiding his head under a blanket. "We

really do need to get the fuck out of here! But

there's no bloody way out."



                 "You might be able to hitch a ride out

with the annual transport that brings in

our liquor  each year. But it won't

be cheap. Bruno's a cheap prick," Frank says.

        "Who's Bruno?" Hank asks.

        " He's the pilot, you fool," says Frank.

                "Look, Hank, really don't tell Artie

about the D.N.A. military experiments. He's already

spooked as hell about being taken up the ass

twice by a big weasel. He won't leave his bar. He's been

reinforcing the walls. H e won't step outside. The possible human-wolverine DNA
mix, the very thought of it would freak him right out.
Put him over the top... might make him suddenly try to
sprint right out of here."

        "Bad things happen to those who break into

a panic and try a sprint. I mean, there's a billion trees

you can sprint smack into. And there's the muskeg

you can sink in... And a mad leap into the Mackenzie River

has never been healthy for anyone," Frank says.

"Do you understand?"

               " I understand we're trapped in our foxholes,"

Hank says. He walks into his tunnel and starts

shoveling towards the east. "I understand we're fucked!"

he shouts back at Frank, over the sounds of  his frenetic

digging.
 

 

 

(C) 2015 by W.G. Milne

WAIT-A-BIT

LIGHTHEARTED TALES OF ISOLATION AND PANIC


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