ODE TO KEATS

Sweet nightingale calling
        dark in a deep wood.
Your voice has sounded ages
         in the forest
Kings and clowns of empires past
          have known your song,
Sweetly sung in passing                            generations.

And is it then for men to fret and            die
Forlorn in solitude in the singing
           of this song?
Empires fade, the ages come and             go, as do nightingales,
Yet it is the song of all days.

And is it for men to die a solitary
            death,
Hear birds sing
And know not the ageless inner    Song of human being?

Immortal as the deathless                        nightingale that dies
A song of all days.








(C) 1978 by William G. Milne

FAIRY GRAIL

fairy grail




there are horrendous
negative influences
in my life
dwarfs and gnomes
who wish me ill
*I heard the owl
call my name
the owl said:
“run! the bad 
queen is after you
not to mention
the police!”
*I didn’t feel 
like running
so instead I went
to the Paradise
bar and grill
and there
dreamed
dreams
*my sister too
had joined the
evil horde
for a time her
mind was taken
over by darker
forces
*hate and rage
echo down the
halls reverberate
against walls
*I put on my science
shoes and step upon
the immaculate
deception
*see visions of
primordial truths
nobody
knew

*o   o   o

*what do I do
with this jewel
I bring back from
the nightstream?
*the rulers and their
daughters are asleep
or at the
hairdressers
or purchasing
this year’s
auto…
*the chapel of the
night was dark
the skulls
frightening until
you saw their
infinite carved
beauty
*Miranda gave her
song to me
and whispered
“sing it!”
*I passed on
through the woods
and saw
the ruined
castle
*drank the cup
by the evergreen
and tasted the
meanings
*took the fisher
from his boat
and served him
breakfast
*saying:
“here these
are oranges from
the south and 
lemons from the
east here are
mushrooms from the
grove and words
from the
deep”
*I burned a
knife hot and
cauterized his 
wound
*shot the dragon
of the night
with an
arrow
*saw pure
motionless light
in the chapel
*took his daughter’s
hand and
kissed
it
*went north to
the new land
and stayed there
with the
children
of the bay.

*



       * * * * * * * *


(C)1980-2017 by W.G. Milne

WHIPPING MELISSA

WHIPPING MELISSA

CASES FROM THE FEMALE ORGASM CLINIC     _______________________________________

WHIPPING MELISSA

__________________________

                  Soon as I can get to a scanner, I`ll
scan some of the “Roving Reporter in the Bush” tales,
and the comic sketches drawn by Ernie Taylor of me inhot pursuit of various stories.

(He got the “mad intensity” which is hard
to get, I`m told.  Soon as someone points a camera at
me I smile like an innocent schoolboy.)

Of course, looking at me these days, I`m
not fooling anyone.
Maybe I wasn`t fooling anybody when I was
a schoolboy. I had one Grade 2 teacher who hated me
on sight!  Maybe she got a glimpse of the mind behind
the mask – the innocent schoolboy act…
*

I wrote for 2 hours the other morning – a great
true scene of whipping my 2nd wife atop a cliff, near
a waterfall in the spring – with 20 tourists approaching.  That girl sure did have a set of lungs!
I had to wrap things up fast….She was screaming…
like I hadn’t told her what I was going to do to her…

                                       *
Ah, but some of the tourists were running like
they were trying to “save” her.  They should have
saved me.  I was the one married to her…                                      *
The problem with people who want to try S&M,
they hear it`s sexy… that the PAIN turns to PLEASURE…
if you get caned in the right spot…       They’re right, but NOT RIGHT AWAY!
It`s going to hurt a lot first… And that`s when you
spend a little quiet time alone and tell yourself
how sorry you are for all the evil things you`ve
done… (No!  I`m kidding!)
Anyway Melissa was losing it, and tourists
were almost making it to the crest of the hill,  so I did the
only logical thing.  I put Melissa in the trunk of the car.
Out of sight, out of mind…
*
Then later I went on to describe my use of Mindshocks,
working with a trained psychologist, to cure tortured
women, tortured by their familial repressions… how
Mindshocks help to set these ladies free – by scaring the
shit out of them, if they need it.
Their knees are not pressed so tightly together
after that. And if the women have a tendency to look
at the floor – they don`t look at the floor so much
after the first Surprise.
No, it`s too dangerous to look at the floor.  They
look behind them and all around them, and then they see
my trained assistants with notepad ,
padded handcuffs and a short cattle prod, which
is easy to hide when you tuck it up the sleeve of
your white labcoat…   when they see that…
Some of them try to run, but they don`t get far. It`s
rare for anyone to get away, like Alice. After all, she`d already paid the fee.  Also, there`s the fact that I`m the
only shop in three cities who performs this sort
of high-intensity, quick-fix psychological procedure.
Hell, I might be the only clinic anywhere, who promises to
cure your orgasm problems in ten days, or you money
back guaranteed.
*
After several years, most of the women who have
attended the KLEAR YOUR MIND ORGASM CLINIC
after a year or two, I get thank you notes… sometimes
the letters are long and the thanks are effusive;  sometimes they even try to find me!
But right off the bat after the procedure, they
usually   hate my guts…  That`s why I have to get
the money first.
In my one unsuccessful case, out of 19 delighted and appreciative women I got a letter
that was not a thank-you note…It looked like she had
a lawyer or  an expensive secretary type it.  The words,
“a long and enduring hatred” appeared.
I`ll be seeing her again, but it might take
years, and, all flippancy aside, she has a serious problem,
which will not get better on its own – even if she shoots
her father, or her uncle, whoever she`s sure has caused her such difficulties.                                           *
Speaking of shooting, TRANSFERENCE can be a problem in this specific situation. When she turns her
compulsive spotlight in my direction, it`s quite likely
she`ll try to shoot me. This has happened to me with
members of the fair sex before, but never in a professional relationship.
I can feel her now, prowling the side streets and
parking lots around my old place, a rifle with a scope in her trunk.               I should never have taught the lady to shoot.
I  had nothing but her best interests at heart. However –  it might appear  different in her mind –  in her enraged,vindictive an extremely pressured state of mind.
I`ll have to be very careful
when I leave the compound, any time soon.
*
Alice,
is an extremely attractive, wealthy, apparently stable woman… But she’ll be trouble for any husband.  Until she is cured, that is.  And she is so very close to a cure.  Just give me 3 more nights with her in the clinic.
You see the husband, when he gets naked with her to have sex – and when sex turns out to be a disaster –it`s hard to maintain an erection if you are staring into the
eyes of a woman who looks suspiciously like a black
panther, preparing to eat your spleen.

                                   *

I have my assistants. Gentle Doctor Laura is
available to placate patients – Laura`s services are  always necessary after the initial Mindshock.
The women naturally think they are in the
middle of some weird Machiavellian Nazi experiment
after I lay the electrodes down to tender parts
of their bodies.
It`s almost all for show… Almost!
*
Thinking again of that poor naked man
before Alice’s glowering onslaught.
Without my instruments I`d feel naked, too.

I use well-fashioned and durable sexual implements… An electric pulse and probe are frequently necessary… and of course there are canes and crops. Electric cuffs may be needed… restraints…prescribed stimulants… padded restraints.
Sometimes I bring in professional studs,
sometimes  distractions…    Sometimes I use power tools…                                        *

My team are pros at quickly
treating any medical difficulties

                                          *

               Sometimes after the
first surprise PROBE and ZAP, the patient starts to shriek…
and the words LAWSUIT and CHARLATAN often come up… and she`s right.

With the amount of  of electrical
and medical lab equipment we have assembled here…
not to mention the powerful prescription drugs. She’s right

that all my methods are not approved.
When the patient starts to shriek “LAWSUIT”
after the first blast of  current up her ass, I hit her with the
Haldol…

                                    *

And soon as they awaken and she`s having
breakfast in her green backless johnny gown, I hit her
with the blast again….. ZOWEEE!  MINDSHOCK!
delivered to her lower unit…
I have doubled the current going thru the
electric probe this time ..  .
I told you, I get results, and I get `em fast!
I must break down all resistance. And we’re

experts at my lab.
*
I`m the one who drafts the MEDICAL RELEASE
FORM, and if I do say so myself, it`s a beauty.
I lost one lovely twisted soul 13 months ago… I
happened to spot her sprinting across the lawn.
Sometimes you overdo the initial shock –  but really the
shock has to be administered in a closed environment.

An intelligent woman can often sense something
coming.   Maybe it`s the snickers of the queer male nurses.
(I keep calling them gay – they insist they`re not gay;
they`re Queer. I`m not sure what the difference is
and I`m not sure I want to know).

         William S.  Burroughs wrote the book, “QUEER!”

 and we all respected him.

*

I hired the male nurses because they did such a special job of nabbing fleeing patients at the research hospital –
they showed such gusto and skill.  (They nabbed
me more than once and I can run like a rabbit when
I`ve got a good head of steam up. Of course, with my
knees strapped together they had the advantage…)
*
Yes, I make fun. But these women suffer.
And, understand something about my methods:
I claim to cure you quick.  And I do.  I will.
My team hasn`t had a failure yet.(With one exception
and I`m not finished with her yet.) If my
methods appear to be more like theater than
medicine, well so be it!
I`ve always wanted to get into the theater,
but this is a hell of a way to do it!
*
As I`ve mentioned before, my clinic is not
sanctioned by the A.M.A. or even by the F.D.A.
I do get referrals from some doctors, but
it`s always on the Q.T.    That should be enough
initials for one article.

                                             *
Word of mouth provides most of my trade –
people who roam the City late at night in the
black-walled darkness of the more unknown bars,
red flickering candles, vampire suits,
and laughter and shouts and confidential talk
when the band stops playing.

                                           *
“It worked for Alice.   She feels a whole lot
better now… She says he was brilliant, a genius.
She said he quoted Dr Wilhelm Reich and his
orgone therapy as well as Mesmer and the Marquis
de Sade.
” Now she wants sex as soon as she sees a
white coat, or hears a certain song
only the doctor knows…”
” You`re kidding, Alice – that has to
be unethical – keeping a hypnotic trigger secret!”
“It`s certainly better  keeping it secret –
than telling everybody what it is at the cross-roads!”

*

Alice laughs out loud and slaps her knee.
“Actually, Jo,  that was a joke about the secret
song.”   She pats Jo`s hand.
Johanna:   “What`s gotten into you?
You haven`t been snorting that drug, inhaling ha! ha! gas again?”
“Relax!   I feel fine.  I feel great, better
than I have in over a decade. He not only
showed me how to orgasm, he cured my two
pack a day smoking habit….

*`
“My God! How`d he do that?”

*

Madelaine looked down… along the line of
her leg and boot:

             *

            “He showed me how to put something
else in my mouth.”

                                            *

KRISTA'S GARDEN

Krista's garden
is in the sky
and in the trees
that thrive
on edges of the parking lots
and by the lake

The dark clouds in the sunset
red as fire
the wind that lifts and circles
blows a candy wrapper up and about
til she throws her hands down
and all is silent one instant
all is still
the wind unmoving

Krista follows
gives the nod to the reddish rose
and fires of sunset
Krista goes where
the sun and rain
and windy rhythms go
casts hints to those
who may know

Krista's garden sprouts above
for we who dance below.




(C)2001 by William G Milne

Father David Belyea - Priest and GREAT TEACHER

Father Belyea.*****************
_____________________________

To this day, his name fills me with such admiration and takes me back to a time when he became an influential person in my life. It was September 1970 - the beginning of our 4^th year in nursing at U of T. When faced with the challenge of finding two required arts electives that would fit into our highly structured timetable, many of us had the good fortune of registering in Father Belyea’s “Religion 304: Theology in Literature” course. It was a long walk to St. Michael’s College on the other side of campus where classes were held, but by October, the trek from the School of Nursing on St. George Street, across Queen’s Park to St. Michael’s College felt like a welcome escape into another world.

Father Belyea had a presence. His smile would light up the room. He was charismatic but in an unpretentious way. His lectures were mesmerizing and thought-provoking, and he delivered them with great enthusiasm. At a time in our early twenties when we were looking to understand the world and to find meaning in life, Father Belyea seemed to be someone who had figured it out. If anyone could help us make sense of the confusion, it would be him!

Keeping up with the demanding reading list of books for the course was a struggle, but falling behind wasn’t an option. He introduced me to writers such as Leo Tolstoy, Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Albert Camus, Fyodor Dostoyevsky and James Joyce. Father Belyea would deliver his lecture as he walked back and forth, back and forth, at the front of the room, holding the book we were studying under his arm or in his hand. He would read key passages – just a line or two – and then perhaps repeat it as we pondered the concept he was addressing. The point was always to go a little deeper. He made us think. He asked questions, offering them to us for our consideration, without providing answers. He taught us a great deal about humanity and the human spirit. We learned about kindness, love, hope, acceptance, compassion and forgiveness. We listened to, and considered, the opinions of others, even if they were different from our own. Sometimes, we challenged those opinions. We learned that simple words can have a profound meaning and that comfort could be found in them. We strived to find the goodness in people, in each other. Father Belyea believed that we could make a difference in the world and the lives of others. He made us want to try.

Here are some of his unforgettable quotes from lectures:

Birds sing sweeter than books tell how. (e. e. cummings)

The greatest and rarest art of all is the art of being human.

If you’re bored, you’re boring.

The degree to which we isolate ourselves reflects the amount of fear we have towards other  people.

Climb Mount Everest: love someone who doesn’t love you.

The people we should love the most are those who love us enough to tell us the truth about ourselves.

              A person has to forgive himself before he can forgive others.

              The state of the soul is truly manifested in the eyes.

              Beware of youth who are too sensible.

              The artist sees through his eyes and states the profound, the obvious.

The experience of living can teach one how to think, but thinking can never teach one how to live.

There is an element of sadness that is generated from every thing of beauty, for example, a  sunset. Man forever longs for the infinite.

Father Belyea enjoyed having nursing students in his class. Perhaps the reason for this was that we, too, had chosen a caring profession; that he knew some of the more difficult aspects of life we’d already been witness to as nursing students, or would be confronting in our careers that lay ahead. As we became nurses, he had something valuable to impart to us.

I believe that the way in which I practised nursing over the years was influenced by the teachings of Father Belyea. I continue to live each day with meaning. And when I listen to birds singing their hearts out, I think of Father Belyea and smile. They truly do sing sweeter than books tell how.

I didn't write this. But I love Father Belyea, also. He is/was a major influence in my life. And he did some outrageous things to support
me and to show other people who I was/am --- more on this later, if the bridge stands and the waters don't rise.            Love and cheers --
W.G. Milne

STEPS TOWARDS ENLIGHTENMENT

        I tend to stress the importance of ego annihilation
because it was important to me in the path
I had to travel.

        The phrase: "What you give is what you will receive,"
applies. If your need is for complete Realization, complete
Enlightenment (foundation experience) then complete ego
annihilation is needed - before absolute Grace may pour in.

         It's a difficult task and path and I can't think of
any way to make it easier, or I would tell you. 

* Fasting helps, but it is hardly easy.

* Ingesting the sacred mushroom will give you a sense
    of the divine, but other stressors are also necessary,
    other sources of urgency.

* No one has the patience these days to stare at a wall for 7           years, but it will certainly take seven years to complete and
   deepen the enlightenment experience.

*   Either you do the work (meditation, focused concentration)
      at the beginning, or you'll have to do the work at the end.

*    What is needed is a focused attention over time --costing
       not less than everything.

*     What is also needed is a desperate need to know - an urgent
        need to answer the question your soul has posed for you...
        the need to get to the bottom of things, get the facts...                  figure out the real deal before you pass away

*     another urgent drive might be - the need to comfort a                 loved      one,
        compassion for another can be a powerful force

*      or a prideful desire to outshine another seeker ( this can              urge you forward in a limited way - often seen in                          monasteries)

*        some powerful drive is needed to pierce the eggshell ego
           that surrounds you, in order to be one with the universe.



(C)2020 by W.G. Milne

IN THIS AGE OF DARKNESS AND SPITE

In this age of darkness and spite, please                 do
Show to me the path of patience and light
And in this hour of rushed aggressiveness
Please teach me the path above depression

In this new dawn that brings a second                  Christ
Please show me the path to bathe in His                Light

And in this vast land of unconsciousness
Please give us all the path of divine bliss
And in this land of sub-aquatic doubt
Please show us the new path of                             blessedness.



(C) 2020 by W.G. Milne