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Friday, October 12, 2018

ONE STAR AMID A SKY OF CLOUD



ONE STAR THROUGH A SKY OF CLOUD






What had happened to me?
I wanted to know
on that Christmas morning
all alone
*
I saw one star
amid a sky of cloud
I didn't understand
it wasn't possible
*
and I wondered 

with all those lost dreams
where I had gone
and lost myself beneath the wave
beyond the farthest mountain
*

under the sea
where lady with her red dress
was waiting
*

I saw fear in the great mirages
success, death, happiness
little did I know that
none of those
was permanent
*

I had to seem so tough
to confront you
a regular he-man
a regular screw
whatever happened to the child I knew
in the land of Nod?
*


then I started laughing
I laughed with that last star
as God's eye opened
and blessed me from afar
*

from beyond the rusted alleys
and the wasted streets
and the dull grey depression
that greets every success-bound
boy - a real rube I was
to some other tune
*

but then the laughter started
I don't know when it came
I just know I no longer
was the same
*

the dark days had broken
their bats' wings on the walls
your gloomy illusion
did completely fall
*
and I was free again
free as I had been
free as the open skies
above a sheath of rain
*
free as the dark wildcat
with her quivered thighs
free as the sweet child
who no longer fears the night
*

free as the lost shepherd
coming home again
free as all the little boys
lost in the rain
*

with just a leather jacket
and nothing in their pants
free as the dark pines
towering over me
*
with a great Significance
oh don't ask what it means
free without the dark tide
that consumed my life
*

free as the lost chickens
playing in the grass
free as the adolescents
checking out the ass
*


of every passing schoolgirl
free as horses and maidens
sailing ships that pass
free as fourth of July crackers
as a madman's laugh

*
free as crickets in the night
and the crimson tide of death
*
free as dark beginnings
so lost then in the night
free as bears in the forest
walking on my path
*

and now in the forest laughing
laughing a new laugh
free as Christmas morning
with a little child
*

free as all true lovers
across the miles
*

free as broken English
on a sea-side holiday
free as new tires squealing
at the crack of day
*

free as the dark night
when all is lost
free as the new morning
drenched in rain
*

and now I'm here without you
and I'm glad again
whatever did happen
to all the pain?


* * *
W.G. Milne (C) 1976







(I woke up early this morning
as has been my habit lately
now that I have fallen into my new health
regime - of taking my bicycle to the liquor
store and back - every time I want another bottle.

I pass out anywhere from five to nine P.M. 
I wake up about two A.M. Maybe get up or have
another nap to complete the last night's
dream.
This morning at 3:30 A.M. I started to
pick pieces of paper off the floor. And I found this sheet I was about to throw away.
There was tiny, scrawled writing on both sides of the single page. The poem below is what I found.
This is how my poems unfolded when I got rolling. There was not a correction on the entire page, so I'm not making any.
I have been criticized for
my expansive style and rhyme schemes.
But now I can't care about the critics.
No one can say I'm not a poet. I am what I am
and I'm comfortable, even quite pleased
with myself.
I'm happy I didn't throw this gem away.)
_____________________

***********************************************


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