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Saturday, May 10, 2014

YOU WANT A LAUGH? This is abook description I was using to try to SELL A BOOK! Ask me if it worked!!!!

HAVE I GOT A BOOK FOR YOU!


SANTA'S URBAN SURVIVAL GUIDE, by William Milne         *

SANTA'S GUIDE TO SURVIVING YOUR PERSONAL FETISH
by William Milne

A COMIC'S APPROACH TO HALLUCINATIONS AND TOXIC  PSYCHOSIS    by    Walker Ballantine       *    


    * (These two are the same book under different titles. I changed one  title
          for marketing reasons.)

Book Descriptions For Purchase:                                      
                                                                                          (at amazon.com/kindle and e-books)

First crack at a book description:
_________________________

SANTA, A STREET-SMART SADOMASOCHIST ,SINGER, BAND-LEADER, AND EX-ATTORNEY IS EXPERIENCED IN BOTH SIDES OF THE LAW,. HE LIKES TO DRINK AND HE'S A DRUG EXPERT... IN THIS BOOK OF HUMOUR HE GIVES YOU TIPS AND METHODS FOR SURVIVING THE FOLLOWING - INTENSE HALLUCINATIONS, ARREST DURING INTENSE HALLUCINATIONS, TOXIC-PSYCHOSIS AND THE ALL-CONSUMING PARANOIA DUE TO TOXIC-PSYCHOSIS: PURSUIT BY THE DEAD OR THE LIZARD PEOPLE; PURSUIT BY ANIMALS WITH PRETERNATURAL INTELLIGENCE WHO SPEAK YOUR
YOUR NAME, BY SMILING SNAKE WOMEN WITH ICE PICKS OFFERING APPLES, BY MOTHERS WITH FORKED TONGUES WORKING FOR THE NAZIS, BY GREY-HAIRED OCCULT MASTERS WHO STARE AND WANT YOUR SOUL... BY SADISTS WITH ROPES, BY A GRINNING TRAFFIC COP WITH TOO MUCH EYE CONTACT WHO KEEPS FONDLING SOMETHING IN HIS POCKET, BY CASTRATING NURSES, BY NEIGHBOURS WHO ARE REALLY DEMONS IN DISGUISE...TROUBLE WITH PHYSICAL ATTACK AND PSYCHIC ATTACK, ABERRANT PSYCHIATRISTS, FEES OF HORNY ADDICT ATTORNEYS,, WHAT TO SIGN AND WHAT NOT TO SIGN IN A LOCKED UNIT... UNSPOKEN RULES OF JAIL; BIKERS, STRIPPERS, BOOZERS, SATANIC HOUSEKEEPERS... WHAT NOT TO SIGN IN A LOCKED PSYCHIATRIC FORENSIC UNIT... NUNS AND JUDGES WITH NYLON STOCKINGS UNDER THEIR ROBES. THERE IS VERY LITTLE THAT SANTA HASN'T EXPERIENCED AND THERE ARE VERY FEW FORMS OF WEIRDNESS HE HAS NOT LEARNED TO MANAGE... WHEN YOU READ THIS BOOK YOU'LL KNOW HOW DEEP THE PLOT CAN GO... ... .... THIS BOOK MIGHT SAVE YOUR LIFE!
.OR AT LEAST REDUCE YOUR SENTENCE...

WHEN YOU'RE CAUGHT BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE OR
WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE A FEW LAUGHS, THIS IS THE BOOK TO READ!

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